Cyzk’s Revenge - Week #6 Summaries

by Sam Spiegelman

Eric vs. Hank @ Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye

In a sheer battle of mediocrity, a win for Eric vs. Hank would put both teams at .500 in the division at the end of the day. EvH may have put forth the best his team is able to produce Sunday, with almost every player contributing. Each week, S-Jax and Maurice Jones-Drew are going to alternate big weeks and slow weeks; it’s when they both start streaking when your team will take charge. On the flip side, I think it’s a shock to see your team sitting at 3-3. With a pass-happy Philip Rivers at quarterback, dynamic receivers and adequate running backs each week, it’s tough to figure out the problem. However, the talent and depth on your roster will eventually pay off – don’t count out the postseason yet. 

Chumps @ ForeSkins

You didn’t expect the Manning-Hakeem the Dream connection to last forever, did you? For this week’s sake, it was just a blip on the radar. The G-Men took to the ground to take down the Lions, and Malcolm Floyd was injured early in his game, so Arian Foster, Anquan Boldin and Rashard Mendenhall tried to carry the team. A combined 48 points from the trio in impressive, but it was not enough to carry the team to victory, especially when facing a team clicking on all cylinders. Peyton returned to being Peyton; Chris Johnson was Chris Johnson and Ryan Torain and Michael Crabtree did the rest of the work. What’s encouraging for the 2-4 Chumps is if Torain continues on his torrid pace, I expect him to continue handing the load if and when Clinton Portis is healthy. 

Champion Dwarf Tosser vs. Melbot

The closest contest of the week was the six-point Melbot victory over Champion Dwarf Tosser, 90-84. Wacko for Andre the Giant came up huge, reaching 19 points after his fourth quarter clinic he put on against Houston. Oh, and double-digit efforts from Wacko for Flacco, Ahmad Bradshaw and Braylon didn’t hurt either. Finding a way to win without Michael Vick in the lineup is impressive, but its moves like benching Jeremy Maclin in favor of Dustin Keller that has you at .500. I know Keller got off to a hot start, but he’s playing with a run-first offense playing on the road. Save Keller for strong matchups; use Maclin regularly.

Speaking of .500, CDT was one stud away from becoming a four-win team Sunday before Miles “Stone Cold Steve” Austin was only able to deliver a single point for his team. Yeah, a few more picks on Trent Edwards Monday night would have been nice, but Miles is the real culprit. As his disappointing season continues, so will your team’s struggles. Get him straight and we’re having a completely new conversation. 

Elfboys @ Last Place

Win number two – it’s a start! But more importantly, Elfoys, here’s some advice. Derek Anderson, say goodbye. Greg Camarillo, say goodbye. Carolina defense (one exists?), say goodbye. Okay. A second win on the season finally showed some of your team’s potential. Matt “Stump the” Schaub, All Day, Hines Ward, even Dwayne Bowe had a hell of an afternoon. Now, it’s tough to dig yourself out of a 2-4 hole at this point in the season – but I’m saying there’s a chance. There is, however, not much of a chance for Last Place. Aaron Rogers will keep throwing, Antonio Gates will keep catching and Larry Fitzgerald will be Larry Fitzgerald. But there’s way too much inconsistency. Matt “I’m a Man Forte” and LT and Marques Colston and Jamaal Charles – I feel each week is a surprise with these guys. It’s an all or nothing team, and so far you, it’s leaning towards the latter.  

BearNaked Ladies @ Men without Helmets

Interesting…the two running backs the BearNaked Ladies thought his team could rely on this week totaled eight points, while the waiver wire wide receiver fill-ins combined for 25 points. What’s more interesting is the benching of DeSean Jackson in favor of Roy Williams? Lance Moore? Chris Cooley? What led to that decision? Drugs? Let’s say we had D-Jax in there instead of Cooley, and now you’re sitting at 3-3 and tied for the second in the division.

For Men without Helmets, a well-rounded team effort was means to winning this Sunday. At 5-1, sitting atop the league, things are looking up. Drew Brees and Frank Gore are gaining momentum, Brandon Jacobs is seeing goal line carries and the wide receiving core is among the best. Jacobs, however, is not the best RB2 option for this team to keep pace into the playoffs, and I don’t know what you can expect from either of the Denver running backs stashed on your bench. Your biggest task going forward will be to determine if Jacobs is your best bet, or if you need to make a move.