No Foreskin League: The Final Four

No Foreskin League: The Final Four

By Sam Spiegelman

Warriors, Fuck Pull Away in Playoff Openers

            With a determination to prevail to the second round of the No Foreskin League playoffs in 2010, both We are the Warriors and the Warriors are Great and 2 fucking wins in 2 years cruised by in their opening tilts, setting their spot in the semis.

            Led by Run DMC’s outstanding afternoon against the Jaguars and his 49 points, the Warriors made up for the lack of production elsewhere in the lineup. Only Drew Brees made an attempt to keep up with  McFadden with a three-touchdown, 17-point effort, but the rest of the team combined for a mere 35 points, including a doughnut from Dwayne Bowe.

            2 fucking wins in 2 years’ team went through a similar phase, as Michael “The Burner” Turner paved the way to a 88-70 victory with a whopping 33 points, with Jon Kitna and the Patriots defense coming in second with 15 points apiece. The rest of the cast, including intriguing matchups of Eli Manning, Santonio Holmes and LeGarrette Blount, combined for just 16 points.

            The wins in Week 14 set up the following games: The Warriors against I’m Relieved Apple Didn’t Barf on Me in Vegas; 2 fucking wins in 2 years versus The Late Merger. The winners of this round will advance to the NFL Super Bowl.

Preview: 2 fucking wins in 2 years vs. The Late Merger

            With Thursday Night Football coming and going, the well-rested I’m Relieved Apple Didn’t Barf on Me in Vegas has taken a 13-0 advantage heading into this week’s semi-final matchup with We are the Warriors and the Warriors are Great. This one though is far from finished.

            Vegas, who got his 13 points due to a cheap-O touchdown from Brian Westbrook in the fourth quarter and a 56-yard rushing performance by Ryan Mathews, essentially got the best out of these lower-tiered starters. More pressure will be placed on Arian Foster to product at the running back position, and he should do against Tennessee, as no one has really showed the ability to keep Foster in check.

            The snow in the Minnesota frozen tundra should limit Jay Cutler’s effectiveness, but that should be countered by big-time matchups for Jeremy Maclin and Lance Moore. Both Philly and New Orleans will face tough defenses, so it is likely both their teams will revert to their air attacks to put up points.

            For the Warriors, Drew Brees, Run DMC, Dwayne Bowe and Gonzo are all due to enormous games this weekend. Brees will shoulder the load versus a weak Ravens secondary; Bowe is likely to get his quarterback back, while Gonzalez and McFadden simply have favorable matchups.

            My prediction: Despite a 13-0 advantage headed into Sunday, I smell an upset with The Warriors over Vegas. Just too many superstars, tooo many intriguing matchups to overcome, and I never want to stake my fantasy life on Cutler and Ben Watson.

Preview: We are the Warriors and the Warriors are Great vs. I’m Relieved Apple Didn’t Barf on Me in Vegas

            Like the previous contest, The Late Merger will have a 10-0 edge in points before the weekend even begins. Fortunately, this dime came from the Chargers defense – an added bonus in their game against 2 fucking wins in 2 years.

            The Late Merger has yet to begin their scoring, as Matty Ice will face one of the league’s worst passing defenses in Seattle. The other quarterback is just so other dude named Michael Vick; ever heard of ‘em? He faces a tough test in the G-Men at the New Meadowlands, but if Philly is going to score it will of course go through Vick.

            Players like Maurice Jones-Drew and Derrick Mason are going to be all-nothing plays this week. Both have been hot of late, but Mo-Jo-Drew will get an emotional Indy defense who will force David Garrard to beat then, while Mason gets the top-ranked passing defense in the league.

            For 2 fucking wins in 2 years, it is a similar deal. Can Michael “The Burner” team keep on his ridiculous pace? Can Terrell Owens rediscover the end-zone? Will Jon Kitna continue to perform well above expectations?

            I do believe all of this is true in Week 15, and I think you would be lucky if Santonio Holmes keeps to his word and scores against his former team Sunday. I also dig The Daily Show versus ‘Zona.

            My prediction: I see big days for Jonathon Stewart, The Burner and T.O., but I am unsure if they are going to keep pace with Vick and Reggie Wayne. Vick is going to carry the load for the Eagles in their NFC East showdown, and we all know Indy is going to put on points and Wayne in Peyton Manning’s favorite target. Advantage: The Late Merger.

League of Tax Free Shopping

The League of Tax Free Shopping has already separate the winners from the losers, but there is still a chance for everyone to claim a reward with two separate playoff brackets. Here are a few of the key games for Week 15.

Compton Colons vs. Jordan

Matchup Analysis

Compton Colons already has an early advantage in this game. Jordan still has Dez Bryant, who is out for the season, in his starting lineup, so he’ll already be down with one player at 0 points if he doesn’t change that by Sunday. He also has Reggie Wayne and Jacob Tamme in the lineup together, which might limit the effectiveness of the positions since both players are on the same team. Compton Colons has a trio of stud running backs in Ahmad Brawshaw, Peyton Hillis and Steven Jackson, which more than makes up for his lackluster wide receivers.

Prediction

Compton Colons should win this one by a comfortable enough margin. He’s got a lineup full of players who are hitting their strides, so it would be unlikely to see him fall, especially when Jordan is already playing with a disadvantage.

Montclair Moonshiners vs. Manning to Nicks?

Matchup Analysis

Unfortunately for Manning to Nicks?, this isn’t 2006 anymore, and it’s no longer a good sign when you’re starting Carson Palmer. Ronnie Brown is no longer an elite fantasy option either, so Manning to Nicks? might in an early hole. Fortunately, his opponent, Montclair Moonshiners, is a little weak at running back with Mike Goodson and Mike Tolbert starting. Both owners do have some weaknesses, so stars like Hakeem Nicks and Roddy White will have to shine bright for either team to come out on top.

Prediction

Montclair Moonshiners just has too many weapons for Manning to Nicks? to overcome. He should win, but it will only be by a small margin. Manning to Nicks? could change that if Hakeem Nicks breaks out into his early season form and has a huge game.

The BUFF League

by Andrew Mishler

The final weeks of the season are upon us, with only four teams remaining in the BUFF League . Anything could happen at this point, but it still doesn’t hurt to try and predict who will come out on top.

Here’s an analysis of the two games this week. The winner of each will move onto the championship round to play for the title of the BUFF League.

Polk High vs. Motor Boatin’ Son’s of Bitches

Matchup Analysis

While Motor Boatin’ Sons of Bitches finished with the best regular season record of the BUFF League, Polk High has a number of advantages in this game. The tandem of Matt Forte and LeSean McCoy for Polk High should completely blow away the opposition of Mike Goodson and Marshawn Lynch. Goodson in particular is set up for a poor score, as a healthy Jonathan Stewart should handle the load. MBSoB does have Roddy White, Marshall and Dwayne Bowe, but Bowe has had two straight poor performances with Brodie Croyle now in at quarterback. Marshall isn’t set up for anything better, as Chad Henne is still struggling to push the ball down the field.

Prediction

All in all, everything is in Polk High’s favor to win this matchup. Almost ever position favors him in this week, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to see Motor Boatin’ Sons of Bitches knocked from his perch by the end of Monday night.

Rusty Kuntz vs. Kickin Bart’s Ass

Matchup Analysis

The return of Vincent Jackson and the health of Aaron Rodgers is crucial to this matchup. Kickin Bart’s Ass has no other quarterbacks on his roster right now, and the Packers are already preparing to start Matt Flynn this week. However, if he does manage to pick up a half-decent quarterback, the rest of his lineup, which includes Peyton Hillis, Ryan Torain, Deion Branch, Jackson and Jacob Tamme, are primed for some big scores. Meanwhile, Rusty Kuntz still has some great players in Arian Foster, Michael Turner, Ahmad Bradshaw and Greg Jennings.

Prediction

This game is about as even as it gets. Neither team possesses any obvious weaknesses, so it should come down to wire in the end. However, because Kickin Bart’s Ass will likely have to without Aaron Rodgers, the edge is slightly leaning toward Rusty Kuntz to get a close victory.

NFL-FFA Playoff Report

By Colin Thompson

Key Week 14 Matchups

Stingrays defeated Louisiana Lightning

 In what proved to be a preview of a first round playoff matchup coming up this week, Stingrays hammered Louisiana Lightning 48-11. David Garrard and Malcolm Floyd went off amounting to 50% of their team’s total points. Meanwhile Louisiana Lightning couldn’t get anything going at all and had one of their worst weeks ever. No player scored more than 3 points and stars Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Hillis and Adrian Peterson only had 1 point between the three of them. Things will have to turn around this week for Louisiana Lightning if they want to avoid the same fate.

Red Menace defeated Boston Blazers

The Red Menace secured a division title and a first round bye with a dominating victory over the Boston Blazers 65-28. RB Darren McFadden went off scoring 3 TDs and leading the team with 24 points. However he was not the only man going off last week as DeSean Jackson and Chris Johnson utilized their great speed and combined for another 24 points. The Boston Blazers had Ahmad Bradshaw get them 9 points but nobody else was able to perform up to expectations. It also didn’t help that they started Antonio Gates at tight end as he did not play.

First Round Preview

Stingrays vs. Louisiana Lightning

 A rematch of their week 14 clash that saw Stingrays dominate in every facet of the game. The same may happen again if Jamaal Charles and Roddy White take advantage of their spectacular matchups. The one question mark will be whether Willis McGahee can get enough touches to be effective in this contest. If he doesn’t it could prove costly. Lightning will have to regroup and squeeze the most out of each and every one of their players if they hope to come out on top. Adrian Peterson will have to be better and Jacob Tamme needs to regain his form from a few weeks ago. Those two are the difference makers for Louisiana Lightning and without them doing well than their chances of moving on are very slim.

Ragdolls vs. Augusta Gnats

The Ragdolls come into this other 1^st round matchup with an incredibly hot team. Drew Brees and Marques Colston have shown outstanding chemistry the last few weeks and Arian Foster and LeSean McCoy are two of the best backs in the whole league. The biggest question will be whether it is worth it to start big play threat Robert Meachem over the steady Davone Bess. The Augusta Gnats will be relying on Tom Brady to power them to another victory. He will need help though and it needs to come in the form of Tim Hightower and Hines Ward who both had great performances last week. Their team is not nearly as strong on paper but they play the games for a reason as anything can happen in the playoffs.

Playoff Predictions

Stingrays defeats Louisiana Lightning – Stingrays builds off their momentum from last week and wins going away.

Ragdolls defeats Augusta Gnats – Ragdolls are just way too strong for the Gnats to be able to keep up. This one could get ugly.

Ezy’s League Playoff Report

By Colin Thompson

Playoff Results Round 1

Wolk defeated Kotlarz

 Wolk had a relatively easy time in the first round of the playoffs knocking off Kotlarz 33-13 to move onto the semi-finals. The Saints QB and Jason Witten combined for 5 total touchdowns which were more than enough to take home this victory. His opponent Kotlarz only managed to get 1 touchdown and that was from his quarterback. Not exactly the recipe for success in the postseason. Four of their players finished with no points and that can’t happen especially from stars like Adrian Peterson and Miles Austin if you expect to win.

Burny defeated Ryan

In another 1^st round blowout Burny knocked off Ryan 57-13 to advance to the second round. Michael Turner ran wild for them scoring 21 points and 3 touchdowns while Pierre Garcon finally showed up in a big way scoring twice on his way to a 12 point night. Ryan drew goose eggs from everyone on their team except for their kicker and defense. That is never going to get it done in any kind of format let alone one like this that heavily rewards touchdowns.

Semi-Final Preview

Burny vs. Troy and Rob

 On paper Troy and Rob has the better team but anything can happen in the postseason. Troy and Rob boast arguably the hottest RB in the league in Maurice Jones-Drew and their WR depth is unmatched as they have Calvin Johnson, Brandon Lloyd and Brandon Marshall. However Marshall is currently not in the starting lineup and Malcolm Floyd is, if Floyd is indeed out of Thursday night’s game then that could be a huge tactical error on Troy and Rob’s part. Burny will be looking to Michael Turner to lead the way again this week but look for running mate Ryan Torain, fresh off a huge game last week to help Turner out.

Wolk vs. Jake & Nick

 Jake & Nick have incredible depth on their team which may lead to some tough decisions this weekend. Ray Rice has been an all purpose yardage machine but with touchdowns being so important will Ahmad Bradshaw and Benjarvus Green-Ellis start instead? And how much longer will they continue to go with Dwayne Bowe who has not scored a point in two straight weeks? Wolk is primed for an upset here as they have some explosive players in the lineup for them this week. Hakeem Nicks and Roddy White provide a lethal combination out wide but perhaps the bigger gamble is playing Pierre Thomas in his second game back from injury.

Semi-Final Predictions

Wolk defeats Jake & Nick – if Pierre Thomas is adequate I think they can get the win here

Troy and Rob defeats Burny – The depth on this team is too scary, they get the win here.

Big Decisions to Contemplate for Four Remaining Teams

by Chris Ryan

It's down to four teams in the Haverford Trust League competing for the league championship, and nearly as important, that sweet cash. The end of the season always produces some crazy outcomes, and this year will be no different. Good luck to all still involved.

Let's examine the matchups a little closer:

Dancing Bears vs. Executioners

HOW THEY GOT HERE: The Dancing Bears paced the Bulls league with a 10-3 record, earning a first round bye. The Executioners, meanwhile, finished the regular season with just seven wins, but snuck into the playoffs and beat up  on Mutley 123-64 in the first round.

MATCHUP BREAKDOWN: The Dancing Bears will be led by the outstanding RB duo of Chris Johnson and LeSean McCoy. Both have exploitable matchups (CJ more so than the uber-versatile McCoy), and will no doubt be top 10 performers at the position this week. Matt Ryan doesn't play as well on the road, but the Seahawks aren't any good. He should be able to post typical numbers. Greg Jennings' usefulness will be totally dependent on Aaron Rodgers status. And that' really the key to this whole matchup. The Executioners currently have Rodgers penciled in as their starter, but if he's unable to go, the job will fall to Matt Schaub. Schaub's been good of late, but is terribly inconsistent, and certainly doesn't bring the same big game potential. Darren McFadden, Andre Johnson, and Jacob Tamme all look poised for big games, so it really boils down the health of Rodgers' noggin.

PREDICTION: There are just too many things that could go wrong for the Executioners. Give me the Dancing Bears in a close one.

Client 9 vs. Lethal Weapons

HOW THEY GOT HERE: Client 9 finished the season 8-5, but by virtue of the rest of the Bears Division sucking, he finished atop the standings and was handed a bye. Lethal Weapons won nine regular season games, but were runner-up in the Bulls division. They got past King Cobra 94-91 in the first round thanks to a late Jon Kitna touchdown pass.

MATCHUP BREAKDOWN: Lethal Weapons will ride the Kitna Express again this week, and it should be a reliable option against the Redskins. Peyton Hillis and Maurice Jones-Drew both draw excellent matchups as well, as do Kenny Britt and Roddy White. I foresee a high output from the surging Lethal Weapons. Client 9 has a solid lineup from top to bottom, but there are question marks at the QB position. With the venue for Monday's game between the Bears and Vikings, it's unknown if Jay Cutler will be playing indoors, or in negative temperatures and windy conditions outside. Kind of makes a big difference. Matt Cassel is the backup, but his status likely won't be known until Sunday morning, guaranteeing a stressful week for Client 9.

PREDICTION: The Cutler/Cassel will be too much to overcome. The loaded Lethal Weapons will coast into the championship game.

Four Teams Remain; Entire Enchilada Up For Grabs

by Chris Ryan

It's down to four teams in the West Orange Football Mecca League competing for the league championship, and nearly as important, a thousand bucks. The end of the season always produces some crazy outcomes, and this year will be no different. Good luck to all still involved.

Sharktopus vs. Double Secret Probation

HOW THEY GOT HERE: Sharktopus cruised to the Everywhere Else Division title with a 10-3 record, and earned a first round bye. Double Secret Probation, runner-up in the WOMA Division with a 9-5 record, destroyed Lee H 98-55 in the first round of the playoffs.

MATCHUP BREAKDOWN: Sharktopus is headlined by group of studly performers, most of whom have excellent matchups. Michael Vick and DeSean Jackson are the only guys who may fail to live up to the lofty expectations, but they'll by no means be shut down completely. Really, the only hole is the tight end position. Double Secret Probation rely heavily on the dominant RB duo of Arian Foster and LeSean McCoy, along with the always great Andre Johnson. For them to have a chance against Sharktopus, DSB needs Jon Kitna to have a monster game. A bounce back for Stevie Johnson wouldn't hurt either.

PREDICTION: Kitna does have a favorable matchup against Washington, but Sharktopus just has too many studs in advantageous situations. I smell a blowout.

Meet The Mutts vs. TITANS

HOW THEY GOT HERE: Meet the Mutts got the bye after finishing 11-2 and first place in the West Orange Metro Area Division. The Titans didn't have it so easy, scratching and clawing their way into the playoffs, where they stomped Creeping Death 110-75 in the opening round.

MATCHUP BREAKDOWN: Steady Joe Flacco leads Meet the Mutts, the league's best team, record-wise. He'll again have a solid performance against New Orleans. Tim Hightower, Thomas Jones (if Cassel plays), and Jason Witten all have exploitable opponents as well. Greg Jennings desperately needs Aaron Rodgers back to have an impact.

As for the TITANS, on paper, they look to have the upper-hand. Philip Rivers will be his studly self against the Niners, and the WR threesome of Calvin Johnson, Marques Colston, and Roddy White is as good as there is in the league. Throw in the solid Fred Jackson and the surging Brandon Jacobs, and the TITANS look poised for a big week.

PREDICTION: It's hard to pick against the top team in the league, especially considering some solid matchups, but the TITANS looked decidedly titanic this week. I'm going with the upset.

Movie and TV References Reign Supreme in the 2nd of the Playoffs

It's down to four teams in the Well, Lumbergh Effed Her League competing for the championship, and nearly as important, that sweet cash. The end of the season always produces some crazy outcomes, and this year will be no different. Good luck to all still involved.

Chachi in Charge vs. Trailer Trashers

It's been a tale of two seasons for Chachi in Charge. After starting 1-6, they rallied to win of their last seven games, and then blindsided the top-seeded Brown Storm 94-63 in the first round when the Storm got Ortoned. The Trailer Trashers, on the other hand, kind of hung around the middle of the pack all season, never winning, or losing, three games in a row. After using a huge Monday night to get past BullBus LA, they bring a two-game win streak into the all-important second round matchup with Chachi, who they defeated 91-79 in Week 5.

Matchup Breakdown:

Despite the subpar record, Chachi's roster reads like a veritable Pro Bowl roster. Tom Brady, Arian Foster, Peyton Hillis, and Jacob Tamme are all performing at elite levels, and Larry Fitzgerald and Malcom Floyd haven't been too shabby either. There're no avoidable matchups to speak of, and while conditions won't be ideal for Brady, after watching what he did last week, it's obvious Mother Nature is no match for the studly QB. It could wreak havoc on his hair, though.

The Trailer Trashers aren't in nearly an advantageous position. Preferred starter Ben Roethlisberger has a terrible matchup against the Jets, and coach Flanagan has the ancient Kerry Collins preparing for a start this Sunday against Houston. It's a logical decision, but Collins over Roethlisberger is awfully ballsy. Ahmad Bradshaw and Adrian Peterson aren’t performing like they were earlier in the year, and neither have great matchups. The three-headed WR monster of Marques Colston, Terrell Owens and Roddy White will have to carry the Trashers if they hope to beat the charging Chachi.

PREDICTION: Chachi in Charge. I knew who I was picking when I saw Brady vs. Collins. Looking at the rest of Chachi's roster only solidified my thinking. This one won't be close.

Sex Panther vs. Franks & Beans

The two hottest teams in the league meet up in the this tasty Round 2 game. Sex Panther cruised to a 29 victory over the Golden Showers in Round 1, and they haven't lost since Week 8. Frank & Beans enters the contest on a three-game win streak, including a 49 point blasting of Tiger's Used Pussy last week, and have won six of their last seven games. Their last loss came in Week 11 at the hands of the Sex Panthers.

Matchup Breakdown:

Peyton Manning will need to carry a heavier load than normal for Frank & Beans. He'll be playing indoors, at home, in a must-win game against a crappy secondary, so all the pieces are in place for him to do so. The reason is the bad matchup facing Rashard Mendenhall and Mike Wallace, who draw the Jets. Neither are benchable, but it'll take some lucky breaks to perform up to their high standards. The versatile Shady McCoy should be great as always, and it'll be interesting to see how Derrick Mason and Mike Sims-Walker respond after both scored last week.

For the Sex Panthers, Drew Brees draws the no-longer formidable Baltimore D, which should result in a 20-plus point day. Knowshon Moreno and Ray Rice have great matchups as well, as does Reggie Wayne and Brandon Marshall. Really, the entire Sex Panthers squad looks poised for a strong week.

PREDICTION: Sex Panthers. 60 percent of the time they win every time. This is one of those times. It'll be close, but there're too many bust-out candidates in Panther town to pick against the hottest team in the league.

It’s Heavyweights vs. Upstarts in Round 2 of the Total Mayhem Playoffs

by Chris Ryan

After a couple of close first round games, it’s down to the final four in the Total Mayhem League. DaBirds got enough points from Shady McCoy, David Akers and the Philly D to hold off Boomstick’s PimpHand and Michael Vick last Sunday night, while Notorious Ego held on for a nine point victory when Visanthe Shiancoe and the Minny D couldn’t put up enough of a fight on Monday night.

Let’s break it down position-by-position:

#1 Balls Deep vs. #5 DaBirds

QB: Aaron Rodgers vs. Drew Brees

-The top-seeded Balls Deep got lucky they were on bye the week Aaron Rodgers was knocked out, but they may not get so lucky this week. The stud QBs status is still up in the air, and backup Ben Roethlisberger has a terrible matchup against the Jets. Might we see Jason Campbell? Balls Deep hopes not. DaBirds hope so.

Advantage: DaBirds

RB: Arian Foster/Jonathan Stewart vs. LeSean McCoy/Fred Jackson

-Foster and McCoy are two of the top five fantasy RBs in the league, and should perform up to their abilities again this week. That leaves J-Stew and F-Jax to battle it out to see which RB grouping outperforms the other this week. Jackson has been a total workhorse lately, but the Stewart matchup against the Cardinals could produce exquisite results.

Advantage: Balls Deep

WR: Marques Colston/Reggie Wayne/Mike Wallace vs. Terrell Owens/Deion Branch/Eddie Royal

-It really doesn’t get much better than Balls Deep threesome of pass-catchers. Wallace could be hindered going up against Darrelle Revis, but Wayne and Colston should be able to more than make up for his potential lack of production. Owens and Branch have each had their moment in the sun this season, but they’ve also been inconsistent on a weekly basis, and Eddie Royal doesn’t bring much to the table.

Advantage: Balls Deep

PREDITCION: Nobody talks more trash than DaBirds, but the only way they can pull off the upset is if Rodgers is unable to go. Methinks he’ll end up toughing it out, giving Balls Deep the decided advantage.

#2 Team Tuch vs. Notorious Ego

QB: Tom Brady/Peyton Manning

--Ah, a classic matchup between elite QBs. Brady has notoriously gotten the better of Manning in real football, but that doesn’t matter for our purposes. Both will no doubt have big games, but in the weather-less confines of Lucas Oil Stadium, in a must-win game against a bad secondary, Manning will have the bigger of the two.

Advantage: Team Tuch

RB: Peyton Hillis/Matt Forte vs. Danny Woodhead/Adrian Peterson

-It’s not often Adrian Peterson isn’t the hands-down best RB, but personally I’d rather have Hillis against the Bengals over AP against the Bears. Danny Woodhead has been a surprise all season, but he was stifled last week, and doesn’t have nearly as high a ceiling as Forte.

Advantage: Team Tuch

WR: Malcom Floyd/Mike Thomas/Jeremy Maclin vs. Larry Fitzgerald/Sidney Rice/Hakeem Nicks

-The wide receiver position is by far the biggest weakness of Team Tuch. Floyd and Maclin have struggled with consistency, and Thomas has completely disappeared at times (like last week). Blair White, Randy Moss and Lance Moore will all be considered as well, I’m sure. Notorious Ego doesn’t have that problem, as Fitzy and Nicks have excellent matchups, and Rice is starting to perform as he did last season.

Advantage: Notorious Ego

PREDICTION: Honestly, this matchup will probably come down to which QB has a bigger freakout, and as I’ve already stated, I think that guy is Manning this week. Give me the defending champs in a close one.

The Craziness Continues in the Bush League

by Chris Ryan

The first round of the playoffs were even wilder than expected in the Bush League. The top-seeded NY MazManiacs cruised to an easy victory, and UGotBeat ByAGirl upset the #2 ranked Team Redman in devastating fashion, 97-47. The real excitement came in the other two games. Upstate Flavor got seven points from Neil Rackers on Monday night to squeak by Team Thirdball 62-61, while Morgan Dollar and the LA Arsonists finishing tied at 92 all, with Morgan Dollar advancing on a tiebreaker. It was an especially devastating loss for the Arsonists, as they actually held the lead until Matt Schaub’s interception in overtime. Expect more craziness this week, as four teams compete for the right to call themselves the smartest owner in the Bush League.

Let’s break it down position-by-position:

#1 NY Mazmaniacs vs. #4 Morgan Dollar

QB: Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady

-Ah, a classic matchup between elite QBs. Brady has notoriously gotten the better of Manning in real football, but that doesn’t matter for our purposes. Both will no doubt have big games, but in the weather-less confines of Lucas Oil Stadium, in a must-win game against a bad secondary, Manning will have the bigger of the two.

Advantage: NY MazManiacs

RB: Steven Jackson/Brandon Jackson vs. Arian Foster/Ahmad Bradshaw

-This is a no-brainer. Foster has been the top fantasy back nearly all season, and Bradshaw is thriving despite not technically possessing the starting job. Steven Jackson, on the other hand, has not lived up to his draft status, and Brandon Jackson has virtually no value without Aaron Rodgers taking the pressure off the running game. LaDainian Tomlinson could get a look in his place, but the Pittsburgh matchup is not enticing.

Advantage: Morgan Dollar

WR: Hakeem Nicks/Jeremy Maclin/Pierre Garcon vs. Mike Williams/Vincent Jackson/Danny Woodhead

-Garcon has come on strong of late, and should have an excellent game against the Jags. Nicks is finally healthy, and Maclin has been solid, making for a strong wideout group for the MazManiacs. Morgan Dollar doesn’t have the name value or recent track record, but big Mike Williams is slated to play for the Seahawks this week, and Vincent Jackson looks poised to return to fantasy glory after contributing positively in Week 14. Danny Woodhead, who obviously isn’t a true wideout, is always a solid contributor.

Advantage: NY MazManiacs (but it’s closer than it appears)

PREDITCION: The biggest advantage comes at the RB position, in favor of NY, and considering they’ve have been fairly dominant all season, I’d be hard pressed to pick against the #1 seeded MazManiacs.

#3 Upstate Flavor vs. #7 UGotBeat ByAGirl

QB: Aaron Rodgers/Jon Kitna vs. Kyle Orton/Joe Flacco

-Upstate Flavor is praying Rodgers can see his way out of the fog and onto the field this Sunday, but it’s not looking likely. Kitna has been steady, and has a good matchup against the Redskins, but he’s no Rodgers, that’s for sure. UGotBeat has big decision to make. Go with the Orton, who was awful last week but as a huge upside, or employ the steady presence of Flacco.

Advantage: Tie. Too many variable to give either side an edge.

RB: Matt Forte/Ronnie Brown/Fred Jackson vs. LeSean McCoy/Thomas Jones/Mojo

-The LeSean McCoy/Mojo pairing is one the best in the league, and Thomas Jones will have a solid game assuming Brodie Croyle isn’t under center. It’s pretty hard to top that threesome, but Upstate Flavor has three solid guys as well. Forte is a consistent RB2 performer, and Jackson has turned into a real workhorse of late. Brown is the wildcard. The Bills are the worst rush defense in the league, but Brown hasn’t given any indication he’s ready for a breakout.

Advantage: UGotBeat ByAGirl

WR: Michael Crabtree/Calvin Johnson vs. Reggie Wayne/Deion Branch

-Calvin is hindered by the Stanton factor at the QB position, and Crabtree has completely disappeared at times. Wayne and Branch, on the other hand, are top options on top offenses with elite QBs. This is an easy one.

Advantage: UGotBeat ByAGirl

PREDICTION: The underdog squad led by the lady of the league will keep on rolling against the #3 seeded Upstate Flavor. And it won’t be close.