By Greg Pickel
Elfboys 88, Chumps 52
Adrian Peterson’s 26 points enabled the Elfboys to end their recent skid and earn their fourth win of the season. 28 combined points from Steve Smith and Brandon Jackson also helped seal the deal for the ‘Boys, who moved to 4-5 on the season. It was a good week for the Elfboys to run in to the Chumps (4-5), as the Chumps were without three key players: Chris Johnson, Eddie Royal, and Michael Crabtree, who were all lost to byes. The loss was the third in the row for the Chumps, who have failed in three chances since their two game winning streak over Weeks 5 and 6.
Eric vs Hank 101, Meltbot 66
A rough coaching week for the Meltbot’s (4-5) left them on the wrong end of this Week 9 scrap, as their bench scored a combined 74 points irrelevant points. However, a win is a win for Eric vs Hank (4-5), who moved in to a four way tie for second place by ending their recent losing streak. It was a rough week for the Meltbot staff, as the coaches left Cedric Benson and Dez Bryant (13 points each) and Willis McGahee (12) on the bench, and started Jeremy Maclin and Shonn Greene, who tallied just eight combined points on the day. We cannot fault the staff for starting Andre Johnson, even though he also turned in a measly four points. That being said, it was a great day for the staff of Eric vs Hank, who fared well even while suffering a hand full of players out due to bye. It was a good day to be a Phillip Rivers owner, as the San Diego QB scored 24 total points, canceling out the stellar day turned in by the Meltbot’s Michael Vick.
Foreskins 125, Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye 90
The league’s first place team continued its domination in Week 9 with a 35 points victory Ryan Grant I hardly knew ye, who dropped to 4-5 on the year and in to a four-way tie for second in the Heads division. It was a good week for both coaching staffs, as only one player on both teams combined scored double digit points on the bench. That was the Foreskin’s Santonio Holmes, who turned in 11 points. We like benching Holmes over the compliment of WRs the staff of the Foreskins started this week. Realistically, this team ran is a buzz saw, and took care of business. Arian Foster’s 31 point effort was the key in this one.
For Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye, it was a tough week with a few bright spots. The team continues to be rewarded for the value it found on Peyton Hillis, and Mike Wallace’s 17 point effort on Monday night was a bright spot as well. However, this team ran in to a hot side in the Foreskins.
Bearnaked Ladies 105, Last Place 71
Last Place (4-5) moved in to a tie for last place in the Tails division in their divisional battle this week with the Bearnaked Ladies (4-5). It was another good coaching effort here by both sides, as neither team left a lot of potential on the bench. Neither team had a bench player score in the double digits, and Jamal Charles nine points for Last Place was the only bench player who scored more than a starter at the same position.
22 points from Michael Turner and 21 from the Green Bay Packers defense led the charge for the Ladies, who wrapped this contest up at the conclusion of Sunday night’s debacle at Green Bay. They are now on a two game winning streak.
Men Without Helmets 70, Champion Dwarf Tossers 55
In the low scoring contest of the week, MWH moved to 6-3 and now sits atop the Tails division with a 15 point victory. The staff of MWH left Percy Harvin’s 11 points on the bench, but Drew Brees and Ronnie Brown combined for 30 points to carry the Harvinless team to victory. It was a brutal week for the Dwarf Tossers, who received just one point a piece from four different players, and Calvin Johnson’s 15 points could not save the day for the Tossers, who now sit at 5-4 and second in the Tails division.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Well, Lumbergh Effed Her Week 9 Summaries
by Scott Zlotnick
Bull Bus LA vs. Frank & Beans
In a blowout, Frank and Beans defeated Bull Bus LA, improving their record
to 6-3 and gaining sole possession of second place. Leading the way points wise this
week was the Saints defense, which dominated in their matchup against an awful
Panthers offense. Also having a nice week was Mike Wallace, a big play threat who is
bound to get one big play each week. With Big Ben at QB, Wallace has been able to
utilize his speed and burn CB’s. Wallace is a great play moving forward and should
be kept in the starting lineup. A positive this week for Bull Buss was the return of
Michael Vick, who did not look rusty at all in his return. With a great matchup
against the Redskins this week, Vick should continue to put up big numbers in an
explosive Philly offense.
Little Miss Sunshine vs. Trailer Trashers
In a game Little Miss Sunshine probably wishes never happened, the Trailer
Trashers won by 71 points. The big performers this week were Adrian Peterson and
Terrell Owens, who at age 37 has regained his reputation as a top 5 WR. Owens has
become Carson Palmer’s favorite target and is on pace for a monster season. With
Cincinnati’s porous defense, they will get behind early in games a lot, so they will be
forced to pass the ball and look Owens’ way. There isn’t much to say about Little
Miss Sunshine. Forget this one and look forward to this upcoming week.
aTouchofDowns vs. WhoDat-TasteMyGoldenSpray
In a game that was decided by the Monday night game, aTouchofDowns
defeated WhoDat on the backs of Cedric Benson and Jordan Shipley, who only
needed to combine for one point to win. Leading the way was the Cardinals defense,
who capitalized on two poor Brett Favre throws and ran them back for touchdowns.
Also bouncing back this week was Mark Sanchez, who took advantage of weak
Detroit secondary. A real concern for WhoDat has to be the play of Wes Welker,
whose numbers have really declined since the loss of Randy Moss. At the time of the
trade, many people questioned how Welker’s production would be effected without
a dominant deep threat on the outside who received double teams. Welker has been
unable to get open on many plays and has received the double teams Moss used to
receive.
The Original Suburban Hood Rats vs. Asstoria Brown Storm
The Brown Storm narrowly edged the Hood Rats, improving their record to 8-
1 and gaining a commanding two game lead atop the standings. It appears Michael
Turner is finally back to full strength and he has gone back to being the dominant
back he was just two years ago. With a Matt Ryan at QB and Roddy White at WR,
there is plenty of room for Turner to run and run over defenders. The Hood Rats
had to disappointed by just about every player not named Aaron Rodgers, who
picked apart a truly awful Cowboy’s offense.
Chachi in Charge vs. OGs
Chachi in Charge had just about as good of a fantasy week as you could
possibly have, scoring an astounding 154 points. Both RB’s, Peyton Hillis and Arian
Foster, scored 31 points, which is an amazing number. The only thing that went
wrong this week was kicker Stephen Gostkowski going down for the season with an
injury, but kickers in fantasy are easy to replace. The OG’s just had a tough luck
week. Usually when you score 104 points you should expect to either win or be
involved in a close game, but they played a team that got an obscene amount of
points. Both Philip Rivers and the Packers defense had big weeks, combining for 63
points. Another positive sign was the return of Desean Jackson, who showed no
signs of a concussion just three weeks after being knocked out.
Tiger’s Used Pussy vs. Sex Panther
We have a tie! The rarest feat in fantasy football has occurred for the first
time this season in the league between Tiger’s Used Pussy and the Sex Panther. Both
teams can look to their benches at ways they could have potentially won, but their
lineups appeared pretty good and maybe could have used one tweak to each team
that would have gotten them that point. For Tiger’s Used Pussy, they got another big
week from Hakeem Nicks, who is now the number 1 ranked fantasy WR according to
Yahoo sports. A positive development for Sex Panther was the solid game from Ray
Rice, who has been a major disappointment this year.
Bull Bus LA vs. Frank & Beans
In a blowout, Frank and Beans defeated Bull Bus LA, improving their record
to 6-3 and gaining sole possession of second place. Leading the way points wise this
week was the Saints defense, which dominated in their matchup against an awful
Panthers offense. Also having a nice week was Mike Wallace, a big play threat who is
bound to get one big play each week. With Big Ben at QB, Wallace has been able to
utilize his speed and burn CB’s. Wallace is a great play moving forward and should
be kept in the starting lineup. A positive this week for Bull Buss was the return of
Michael Vick, who did not look rusty at all in his return. With a great matchup
against the Redskins this week, Vick should continue to put up big numbers in an
explosive Philly offense.
Little Miss Sunshine vs. Trailer Trashers
In a game Little Miss Sunshine probably wishes never happened, the Trailer
Trashers won by 71 points. The big performers this week were Adrian Peterson and
Terrell Owens, who at age 37 has regained his reputation as a top 5 WR. Owens has
become Carson Palmer’s favorite target and is on pace for a monster season. With
Cincinnati’s porous defense, they will get behind early in games a lot, so they will be
forced to pass the ball and look Owens’ way. There isn’t much to say about Little
Miss Sunshine. Forget this one and look forward to this upcoming week.
aTouchofDowns vs. WhoDat-TasteMyGoldenSpray
In a game that was decided by the Monday night game, aTouchofDowns
defeated WhoDat on the backs of Cedric Benson and Jordan Shipley, who only
needed to combine for one point to win. Leading the way was the Cardinals defense,
who capitalized on two poor Brett Favre throws and ran them back for touchdowns.
Also bouncing back this week was Mark Sanchez, who took advantage of weak
Detroit secondary. A real concern for WhoDat has to be the play of Wes Welker,
whose numbers have really declined since the loss of Randy Moss. At the time of the
trade, many people questioned how Welker’s production would be effected without
a dominant deep threat on the outside who received double teams. Welker has been
unable to get open on many plays and has received the double teams Moss used to
receive.
The Original Suburban Hood Rats vs. Asstoria Brown Storm
The Brown Storm narrowly edged the Hood Rats, improving their record to 8-
1 and gaining a commanding two game lead atop the standings. It appears Michael
Turner is finally back to full strength and he has gone back to being the dominant
back he was just two years ago. With a Matt Ryan at QB and Roddy White at WR,
there is plenty of room for Turner to run and run over defenders. The Hood Rats
had to disappointed by just about every player not named Aaron Rodgers, who
picked apart a truly awful Cowboy’s offense.
Chachi in Charge vs. OGs
Chachi in Charge had just about as good of a fantasy week as you could
possibly have, scoring an astounding 154 points. Both RB’s, Peyton Hillis and Arian
Foster, scored 31 points, which is an amazing number. The only thing that went
wrong this week was kicker Stephen Gostkowski going down for the season with an
injury, but kickers in fantasy are easy to replace. The OG’s just had a tough luck
week. Usually when you score 104 points you should expect to either win or be
involved in a close game, but they played a team that got an obscene amount of
points. Both Philip Rivers and the Packers defense had big weeks, combining for 63
points. Another positive sign was the return of Desean Jackson, who showed no
signs of a concussion just three weeks after being knocked out.
Tiger’s Used Pussy vs. Sex Panther
We have a tie! The rarest feat in fantasy football has occurred for the first
time this season in the league between Tiger’s Used Pussy and the Sex Panther. Both
teams can look to their benches at ways they could have potentially won, but their
lineups appeared pretty good and maybe could have used one tweak to each team
that would have gotten them that point. For Tiger’s Used Pussy, they got another big
week from Hakeem Nicks, who is now the number 1 ranked fantasy WR according to
Yahoo sports. A positive development for Sex Panther was the solid game from Ray
Rice, who has been a major disappointment this year.
Commissioner Sports 2010-2011 Week#9
by Kevin McCune
Shawn Bennett vs. Austin 3:16
Bennett fell to 2-7 after his fourth straight loss. In his defense his opponent, Austin 3:16
is first place in the NFC at 6-2-1. Bennett got nice effort from his receivers with Hakeem
Nicks and Braylon Edwards getting 7 points and five points respectively. Bennett
couldn’t get anything from his defense though with the whole squad totaling two points.
3:16 obviously got nothing out of their quarterback, and you have to question the
coaching decision to go with Tony Romo who’s out with an injury. Adrian Peterson and
DeSean Jackson were all the offence Austin needed. Clay Matthews led the defense with
an amazing 5 puntos from the linebacker.
Temecula and the Calimen vs. Jamarcus Russells Effort.
Is it a coincidence that Jamarcus Russell gets a tryout with the Redskins and Jamarcus
Russells Effort rallies off two straight wins? This week they beat Temecula and the
Calimen 24-19. Effort was led by Peyton Hillis, who redefined what effort means,
scoring nine points all by himself. The receiving game didn’t do much, as Calvin
Johnson, Lee Evans, Hines Ward, Jermaine Gresham, and Marques Colston scored a
total of 5 points. In reality it was just Colston and Ward who scored the 5 points between
them, while everyone else put up goose eggs. LT had his second mediocre game in a
row with only two points. For the defense only DT Israel Idonije and Mario Williams
managed to do anything, but they still got the win nonetheless. Peyton Manning was a
huge reason why Temecula suffered the loss this week. His two points were not very
Manning-esque. The rest of the scoring came from Mendenhall, Fitzgerald, Bryant, and
Moore, all of them were solid, but not solid enough to compete with the 9 points that the
Hillis’ Beast put up all by himself.
Baby Simbas vs Gold Rush
The Pride Rock Baby Simbas better hope the circle of life brings them greater fortune
next week. A disappointing performance against a beatable Bafana Bafana Gold Rush
team has them in third place following their week nine defeat. Terrell Owens did his
part with a heroic performance reminiscent of his Batman namesake. Unfortunately,
the anemic running game left the offense flat. The rushing game for the Bafana Bafana
team was truly “golden” as Michael Turner and Arian Foster both churned out over one
hundred yards and two touchdowns a piece. A stellar performance by quarterback Phillip
Rivers (17 of 23 for 295 yards and 4 touchdowns) put the golden boys way out of reach.
The Gold Rush (5-3-1) are now in second place in the league while the Baby Simbas (4-
5) need to lick their paws and recover some of their “Pride” for next week’s game.
Redemption vs Snozzberries
Week nine in the NFL did in fact bring redemption to San Diego as the home team
bounced back from a loss to defeat the Snozzberries. Joe Flacco turned in a solid
performance of over two-hundred yards and two touchdowns. Greg Jennings and Mike
Wallace found themselves open plenty of times. Wallace went over one-hundred yards
and caught a touchdown while Jennings turned up a solid seven catches and a score.
Jared Allen terrorized the backfield all day, recording two-and-a-half sacks. Lamar
Woodley was Allen’s partner in pain as he recorded two sacks himself and recovered a
fumble. The Snozzberries could not keep up despite the efforts of receivers Dwayne
Bowe and Aaron Hernandez. Bow was his typical dominant self ( 5 catches for 63 yards
and a score). Hernandez continues his incredible emergence as one of the league’s best
young tight ends. His two touchdowns grabs kept the Snozzberries in the game for most
of the contest. Ahmad Bradshaw contributed on the ground with two scores as well, but
the defensive effort of the Redemption was too much to overcome. San Diego (5-4) is
now tied for first while Wonka now finds itself tied for third with a losing record.
Shawn Bennett vs. Austin 3:16
Bennett fell to 2-7 after his fourth straight loss. In his defense his opponent, Austin 3:16
is first place in the NFC at 6-2-1. Bennett got nice effort from his receivers with Hakeem
Nicks and Braylon Edwards getting 7 points and five points respectively. Bennett
couldn’t get anything from his defense though with the whole squad totaling two points.
3:16 obviously got nothing out of their quarterback, and you have to question the
coaching decision to go with Tony Romo who’s out with an injury. Adrian Peterson and
DeSean Jackson were all the offence Austin needed. Clay Matthews led the defense with
an amazing 5 puntos from the linebacker.
Temecula and the Calimen vs. Jamarcus Russells Effort.
Is it a coincidence that Jamarcus Russell gets a tryout with the Redskins and Jamarcus
Russells Effort rallies off two straight wins? This week they beat Temecula and the
Calimen 24-19. Effort was led by Peyton Hillis, who redefined what effort means,
scoring nine points all by himself. The receiving game didn’t do much, as Calvin
Johnson, Lee Evans, Hines Ward, Jermaine Gresham, and Marques Colston scored a
total of 5 points. In reality it was just Colston and Ward who scored the 5 points between
them, while everyone else put up goose eggs. LT had his second mediocre game in a
row with only two points. For the defense only DT Israel Idonije and Mario Williams
managed to do anything, but they still got the win nonetheless. Peyton Manning was a
huge reason why Temecula suffered the loss this week. His two points were not very
Manning-esque. The rest of the scoring came from Mendenhall, Fitzgerald, Bryant, and
Moore, all of them were solid, but not solid enough to compete with the 9 points that the
Hillis’ Beast put up all by himself.
Baby Simbas vs Gold Rush
The Pride Rock Baby Simbas better hope the circle of life brings them greater fortune
next week. A disappointing performance against a beatable Bafana Bafana Gold Rush
team has them in third place following their week nine defeat. Terrell Owens did his
part with a heroic performance reminiscent of his Batman namesake. Unfortunately,
the anemic running game left the offense flat. The rushing game for the Bafana Bafana
team was truly “golden” as Michael Turner and Arian Foster both churned out over one
hundred yards and two touchdowns a piece. A stellar performance by quarterback Phillip
Rivers (17 of 23 for 295 yards and 4 touchdowns) put the golden boys way out of reach.
The Gold Rush (5-3-1) are now in second place in the league while the Baby Simbas (4-
5) need to lick their paws and recover some of their “Pride” for next week’s game.
Redemption vs Snozzberries
Week nine in the NFL did in fact bring redemption to San Diego as the home team
bounced back from a loss to defeat the Snozzberries. Joe Flacco turned in a solid
performance of over two-hundred yards and two touchdowns. Greg Jennings and Mike
Wallace found themselves open plenty of times. Wallace went over one-hundred yards
and caught a touchdown while Jennings turned up a solid seven catches and a score.
Jared Allen terrorized the backfield all day, recording two-and-a-half sacks. Lamar
Woodley was Allen’s partner in pain as he recorded two sacks himself and recovered a
fumble. The Snozzberries could not keep up despite the efforts of receivers Dwayne
Bowe and Aaron Hernandez. Bow was his typical dominant self ( 5 catches for 63 yards
and a score). Hernandez continues his incredible emergence as one of the league’s best
young tight ends. His two touchdowns grabs kept the Snozzberries in the game for most
of the contest. Ahmad Bradshaw contributed on the ground with two scores as well, but
the defensive effort of the Redemption was too much to overcome. San Diego (5-4) is
now tied for first while Wonka now finds itself tied for third with a losing record.
KFL Week #9
by Kevin McCune
SF Hall of Justice vs. Dynasty 3D
It was a battle of first place teams, as Dynasty 3D, the first place team in Division 1 face
off against Hall of Justice, the first place team in Division 3. Justice could fend off the
streaking Dynasty who won the match up for their fourth straight victory. Justice was
pretty banged up with both Bennie Wells and Austin Collie out with injuries. With 34
points, Phillip Rivers generated over half of the teams scoring. Joe Flaco, the Cards D,
DeSean Jackson, and Adrian Peterson all totaled over 20 points for Dynasty.
Yorktown Gunners vs. NE Deepthreat
Deepthreat inserted their league dominance against formidable division foe Yorktown
in week 9. Peyton Manning, Steve Johnson, and Braylon Edwards all played well for
Yorktown, but the Gunners only got 11 total points from everyone else. With just
average weeks from running backs LT and LeSean McCoy, Deepthreat was led to victory
by receivers Hakeem Nicks, James Jones, and quarterback Jay Cutler, who somehow
managed to get through an entire game without throwing an interception.
Team 3rd and goal vs. Deerfield Dragons
The best second place team in the league, Team 3rd and goal – proved this past week
that they don’t intend on finishing the season in second. Aaron Rodgers threw three
touchdown passes, Ahmad Bradshaw once again showed why Brandon Jacobs has been
relegated to number two on the depth chart and spot goal-line duty. Mike Williams (the
Tampa Bay one) and the Saints D put in big scoring efforts as well. 3rd and goal also
picked a great week to start Aaron Hernandez at TE, who not only scored his first regular
season touchdown, but his second as well. The poor Dragon could once again only
manage to cough up smoke instead of breath any fire, at 1-8 the season has seemingly
been over for a few weeks now, and another loss was not what Deerfield needed.
Jennings and Shiancoe both caught touchdown passes, and Brees threw a couple, but it
was all for not thanks to goose-eggs by Sproles and Heywar-Bey.
Das Stooka vs. Bedford Ballhandlers
Stooka moved closer to the Division 3 lead with a win over the now 2-7 Ballhandlers.
Stooka had to slip by in this one with an 84-81 win. Arian Foster carried the rock, and
carried Stooka, because he’s really the only one who stood out. Bedford had T.O. who
was lights out, and Tom Brady who was more than good, but Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis and
Calvin Johnson only combined for 2 total points combined, scoring one apiece. When
you get such little production out of your skilled positions, you’re record’s always going
to be closer to 2-7 than 7-2.
Vermont Stranglers vs. Bruise Brothers – Daily
The Stranglers fell to a below five hundred record with their second straight loss this
week. Before his shoulder forced him out of the game, Matthew Stafford racked up 27
points for the victorious Bruise Brothers, while Brandon Jackson added 18 points. The
Stranglers were gasping themselves as a 17-point effort by Ray Rice is the only thing that
gave them any air at all.
Team Merrill vs. Bear Bullies
Bear Bullies fell below .500 after suffering their third straight loss. Unfortunately for
the Bullies, they’re probably the only team in America that lost this week with Peyton
Hillis’ on their roster. His stellar effort was wasted thanks in large part to poor showings
by Todd Heap and Jeremy Maclin. Merrill was able to survive a goose egg laid by Steve
Smith. Thanks to a great game by their QB Eli Manning, TE Jacob Tamme, and the
Pittsburgh duo of Rashard Mendenhall and Mike Wallace.
SF Hall of Justice vs. Dynasty 3D
It was a battle of first place teams, as Dynasty 3D, the first place team in Division 1 face
off against Hall of Justice, the first place team in Division 3. Justice could fend off the
streaking Dynasty who won the match up for their fourth straight victory. Justice was
pretty banged up with both Bennie Wells and Austin Collie out with injuries. With 34
points, Phillip Rivers generated over half of the teams scoring. Joe Flaco, the Cards D,
DeSean Jackson, and Adrian Peterson all totaled over 20 points for Dynasty.
Yorktown Gunners vs. NE Deepthreat
Deepthreat inserted their league dominance against formidable division foe Yorktown
in week 9. Peyton Manning, Steve Johnson, and Braylon Edwards all played well for
Yorktown, but the Gunners only got 11 total points from everyone else. With just
average weeks from running backs LT and LeSean McCoy, Deepthreat was led to victory
by receivers Hakeem Nicks, James Jones, and quarterback Jay Cutler, who somehow
managed to get through an entire game without throwing an interception.
Team 3rd and goal vs. Deerfield Dragons
The best second place team in the league, Team 3rd and goal – proved this past week
that they don’t intend on finishing the season in second. Aaron Rodgers threw three
touchdown passes, Ahmad Bradshaw once again showed why Brandon Jacobs has been
relegated to number two on the depth chart and spot goal-line duty. Mike Williams (the
Tampa Bay one) and the Saints D put in big scoring efforts as well. 3rd and goal also
picked a great week to start Aaron Hernandez at TE, who not only scored his first regular
season touchdown, but his second as well. The poor Dragon could once again only
manage to cough up smoke instead of breath any fire, at 1-8 the season has seemingly
been over for a few weeks now, and another loss was not what Deerfield needed.
Jennings and Shiancoe both caught touchdown passes, and Brees threw a couple, but it
was all for not thanks to goose-eggs by Sproles and Heywar-Bey.
Das Stooka vs. Bedford Ballhandlers
Stooka moved closer to the Division 3 lead with a win over the now 2-7 Ballhandlers.
Stooka had to slip by in this one with an 84-81 win. Arian Foster carried the rock, and
carried Stooka, because he’s really the only one who stood out. Bedford had T.O. who
was lights out, and Tom Brady who was more than good, but Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis and
Calvin Johnson only combined for 2 total points combined, scoring one apiece. When
you get such little production out of your skilled positions, you’re record’s always going
to be closer to 2-7 than 7-2.
Vermont Stranglers vs. Bruise Brothers – Daily
The Stranglers fell to a below five hundred record with their second straight loss this
week. Before his shoulder forced him out of the game, Matthew Stafford racked up 27
points for the victorious Bruise Brothers, while Brandon Jackson added 18 points. The
Stranglers were gasping themselves as a 17-point effort by Ray Rice is the only thing that
gave them any air at all.
Team Merrill vs. Bear Bullies
Bear Bullies fell below .500 after suffering their third straight loss. Unfortunately for
the Bullies, they’re probably the only team in America that lost this week with Peyton
Hillis’ on their roster. His stellar effort was wasted thanks in large part to poor showings
by Todd Heap and Jeremy Maclin. Merrill was able to survive a goose egg laid by Steve
Smith. Thanks to a great game by their QB Eli Manning, TE Jacob Tamme, and the
Pittsburgh duo of Rashard Mendenhall and Mike Wallace.
Butt Hair to the Max Week #9
by Kevin McCune
A New Marshall in Town vs. I’m Thinking RB’s
Week nine led to some movement atop the Butt Hair to the Max’s leader board… and
there’s “A New Marshal in Town.” Marshall’s win and a loss by No Punt Intended
broke the tie atop the standings. Marshall didn’t get Peyton Manning’s best effort on the
season as two interceptions led to a mediocre 11.5 points, that combined with an equally
mediocre performance by Peyton’s number one man, Reggie Wayne, was made up for
by stellar scoring efforts from Jacob Tamme and Michael Turner. Jahvid Best, Rashard
Mendenhall, and Larry Fitzgerald led I’m Thinking RB’s, but Calvin’s Johnson’s one
point, and the Vikes D struggles did them in.
No Punt Intended vs. Pink (F)Lloyd
If they had played anybody else this week, No Punt Intended would still be tied with
those Marshall’s for the league’s top spot. Unfortunately for Punt, they were playing
Pink (F)Lloyd, and lost the game, and the league lead by 1.5 points. Of course let’s not
dis (F)Lloyd, they won a game that was a must win for them, and now at 4-5 overall, the
league’s top spot is only a couple games within striking distance. With Aaron Rodgers,
Ray Rice, and Peyton “The Man Did You See That,” Hillis, it didn’t really matter who
else was starting for (F)Lloyd. Rodgers, Rice, and Hillis’ big days were too much for
Punt to overcome even with big games from Ahmad Bradshaw, Greg Jennings, Hakeem
Nicks, and the Packers HUGE D.
Alec’s People Who Win vs. Haywood JaBloumi
Alec’s Peopl live up to their name in week 9, and with their second consecutive win,
they’re now one game off the league lead and currently tied with No Punt Intended for
second overall. If Alec’s Peopl had started a different defense they would have won by
more. The Pats negative one effort was made up for by Terrell “If You Do Situps Like
Me, You Never Get Old,” Owens, Adrian Peterson, and Drew Brees. For Haywood –
Philip Rivers and Adrian Foster’s big games were wasted in a loss in which the team
scored over 97 points.
A New Marshall in Town vs. I’m Thinking RB’s
Week nine led to some movement atop the Butt Hair to the Max’s leader board… and
there’s “A New Marshal in Town.” Marshall’s win and a loss by No Punt Intended
broke the tie atop the standings. Marshall didn’t get Peyton Manning’s best effort on the
season as two interceptions led to a mediocre 11.5 points, that combined with an equally
mediocre performance by Peyton’s number one man, Reggie Wayne, was made up for
by stellar scoring efforts from Jacob Tamme and Michael Turner. Jahvid Best, Rashard
Mendenhall, and Larry Fitzgerald led I’m Thinking RB’s, but Calvin’s Johnson’s one
point, and the Vikes D struggles did them in.
No Punt Intended vs. Pink (F)Lloyd
If they had played anybody else this week, No Punt Intended would still be tied with
those Marshall’s for the league’s top spot. Unfortunately for Punt, they were playing
Pink (F)Lloyd, and lost the game, and the league lead by 1.5 points. Of course let’s not
dis (F)Lloyd, they won a game that was a must win for them, and now at 4-5 overall, the
league’s top spot is only a couple games within striking distance. With Aaron Rodgers,
Ray Rice, and Peyton “The Man Did You See That,” Hillis, it didn’t really matter who
else was starting for (F)Lloyd. Rodgers, Rice, and Hillis’ big days were too much for
Punt to overcome even with big games from Ahmad Bradshaw, Greg Jennings, Hakeem
Nicks, and the Packers HUGE D.
Alec’s People Who Win vs. Haywood JaBloumi
Alec’s Peopl live up to their name in week 9, and with their second consecutive win,
they’re now one game off the league lead and currently tied with No Punt Intended for
second overall. If Alec’s Peopl had started a different defense they would have won by
more. The Pats negative one effort was made up for by Terrell “If You Do Situps Like
Me, You Never Get Old,” Owens, Adrian Peterson, and Drew Brees. For Haywood –
Philip Rivers and Adrian Foster’s big games were wasted in a loss in which the team
scored over 97 points.
NFL-FFA Week 9 Report
By Colin Thompson
Louisiana Lightning vs. Red Menace
Someone needs to tell Red Menace that Kevin Kolb is no longer a starter and will not
be getting them any points anytime soon, unless of course they had no other options
available to them. Louisiana Lightning took this matchup 48 to 32 behind Peyton Hillis’s
18 points and Adrian Peterson’s 16 points. This was more than enough to win this
matchup as only one player from Red Menace reached double digit fantasy points,
that being Hakeem Nicks with 10. Both teams are now 6-3 and right in the thick of the
playoff hunt.
Outlaws vs. Boston Blazers
In a tight battle Outlaws edged Boston Blazers 35 to 33. It really hurts when you bench
players that could have given you the victory, which is what happened to Boston
Blazers this week. Carson Palmer and Cedric Benson were clearly the smarter plays
this week but were left on the bench in favor of a struggling Jon Kitna and a hit or miss
Benjarvus Green-Ellis. The Blazers left 14 crucial points on the bench in this one and
sadly fell to 5-4 while Outlaws managed just their 3rd victory of the season.
Chrisnics vs. Ragdolls
The Ragdolls had the most potent offense this week as they put up 51 points on the
Chrisnics. Arian Foster ran wild racking up 18 points and Neil Rackers outscored his
counterpart David Buehler 11 to 1 which sealed the win for the Ragdolls. The Chrisnics
still had some solid offensive performances from Terrell Owens (16) and Brandon
Jackson (13) but it wasn’t enough in this one.
Stingrays vs. Brooklyn Comets
The Stingrays left some major points on the bench against the Brookyln Comets. Seyi
Ajirotutu scored 15 points and had some explosive plays and Willis McGahee got into
the end zone and produced 7 points but sadly those points were wasted on the bench.
Had those players been started than Stingrays would have come away with a 5 point
victory. The Brooklyn Comets were steady in this matchup getting 12 points from their
starting QB Mark Sanchez.
Augusta Gnats vs. Road Dogs
In the lowest scoring matchup of the week the Augusta Gnats downed the Road
Dogs 27 to 14. With the win the Gnats improved to 4-5 while the Road Dogs fell to a
disappointing 3-6. Not a single player in this game reached double digit points but the
Gnats had two players come close. Tom Brady finished with 8 points and Matt Bryant
led the team with 9. The injury prone Steve Smith was not able to score any points for
the Gnats so they were lucky to come away with the victory here. This was probably
due to the fact that nobody scored more than 6 points for the Road Dogs in a dismal
performance.
Lancaster Bombers vs. Waveriders
In what was by far the closest game of the weekend the Lancaster Bombers edged
the Waveriders 33 to 32. Eli Manning was a big part of their success as he scored
12 points and one of his favorite targets Steve Smith was able to score 7. Meanwhile
Waveriders was very unlucky in this one as they had 3 bench players that would have
helped win the game had they been able to start. Julius Jones, Jason Campbell and
Patrick Crayton were able to outscore starters Ryan Mathews, Peyton Manning and
Chad Ochocinco. This is unfortunate because 9 times out of 10 the three they started
are better plays then the bench players, it just so happened that this was the 1 time that
it wasn’t.
Nevada Roadrunners vs. Roosters
A high scoring battle between the Roosters and the Nevada Roadrunners took place
and saw the Roosters move to 5-4 while the Roadrunners fell to 5-4. Even with three
goose eggs in their starting lineup the Roosters got enough production out of Philip
Rivers (14) and Billy Cundiff (13) but the icing on the cake was the outstanding play of
the Green Bay defense which sealed the win with a 9 point night. The one big lesson
that Nevada Roadrunners will learn is that Michael Vick cannot ride your bench. Vick
outscored Joe Flacco again and needs to be in the lineup if they hope to come out on
top in the future.
Louisiana Lightning vs. Red Menace
Someone needs to tell Red Menace that Kevin Kolb is no longer a starter and will not
be getting them any points anytime soon, unless of course they had no other options
available to them. Louisiana Lightning took this matchup 48 to 32 behind Peyton Hillis’s
18 points and Adrian Peterson’s 16 points. This was more than enough to win this
matchup as only one player from Red Menace reached double digit fantasy points,
that being Hakeem Nicks with 10. Both teams are now 6-3 and right in the thick of the
playoff hunt.
Outlaws vs. Boston Blazers
In a tight battle Outlaws edged Boston Blazers 35 to 33. It really hurts when you bench
players that could have given you the victory, which is what happened to Boston
Blazers this week. Carson Palmer and Cedric Benson were clearly the smarter plays
this week but were left on the bench in favor of a struggling Jon Kitna and a hit or miss
Benjarvus Green-Ellis. The Blazers left 14 crucial points on the bench in this one and
sadly fell to 5-4 while Outlaws managed just their 3rd victory of the season.
Chrisnics vs. Ragdolls
The Ragdolls had the most potent offense this week as they put up 51 points on the
Chrisnics. Arian Foster ran wild racking up 18 points and Neil Rackers outscored his
counterpart David Buehler 11 to 1 which sealed the win for the Ragdolls. The Chrisnics
still had some solid offensive performances from Terrell Owens (16) and Brandon
Jackson (13) but it wasn’t enough in this one.
Stingrays vs. Brooklyn Comets
The Stingrays left some major points on the bench against the Brookyln Comets. Seyi
Ajirotutu scored 15 points and had some explosive plays and Willis McGahee got into
the end zone and produced 7 points but sadly those points were wasted on the bench.
Had those players been started than Stingrays would have come away with a 5 point
victory. The Brooklyn Comets were steady in this matchup getting 12 points from their
starting QB Mark Sanchez.
Augusta Gnats vs. Road Dogs
In the lowest scoring matchup of the week the Augusta Gnats downed the Road
Dogs 27 to 14. With the win the Gnats improved to 4-5 while the Road Dogs fell to a
disappointing 3-6. Not a single player in this game reached double digit points but the
Gnats had two players come close. Tom Brady finished with 8 points and Matt Bryant
led the team with 9. The injury prone Steve Smith was not able to score any points for
the Gnats so they were lucky to come away with the victory here. This was probably
due to the fact that nobody scored more than 6 points for the Road Dogs in a dismal
performance.
Lancaster Bombers vs. Waveriders
In what was by far the closest game of the weekend the Lancaster Bombers edged
the Waveriders 33 to 32. Eli Manning was a big part of their success as he scored
12 points and one of his favorite targets Steve Smith was able to score 7. Meanwhile
Waveriders was very unlucky in this one as they had 3 bench players that would have
helped win the game had they been able to start. Julius Jones, Jason Campbell and
Patrick Crayton were able to outscore starters Ryan Mathews, Peyton Manning and
Chad Ochocinco. This is unfortunate because 9 times out of 10 the three they started
are better plays then the bench players, it just so happened that this was the 1 time that
it wasn’t.
Nevada Roadrunners vs. Roosters
A high scoring battle between the Roosters and the Nevada Roadrunners took place
and saw the Roosters move to 5-4 while the Roadrunners fell to 5-4. Even with three
goose eggs in their starting lineup the Roosters got enough production out of Philip
Rivers (14) and Billy Cundiff (13) but the icing on the cake was the outstanding play of
the Green Bay defense which sealed the win with a 9 point night. The one big lesson
that Nevada Roadrunners will learn is that Michael Vick cannot ride your bench. Vick
outscored Joe Flacco again and needs to be in the lineup if they hope to come out on
top in the future.
Total Mayhem League - Week 9
by Andrew Mishler
Team Tuch vs. Go Blue!
At the beginning of the season, there were people in fantasy who questioned when
Peyton Hillis’ fluke would be over. He would prove to be a substandard running
back who had just taken advantage of weak defenses. But as we enter the second
half of the season, Hillis is still putting up week in and week out. In Week 9, his
success continued as he racked up 33 points off of 184 yards and two touchdowns,
leading Team Tuch to 129.30 points and a win over Go Blue! to tie for a league best
record at 7-2. Team Tuch also made a great start of note this week, promoting James
Jones (18.30) into the starting lineup, knowing that Donald Driver would be out
with an injury in the Packers game against Dallas. For Go Blue!, mostly everyone on
his team outside of Philip Rivers (37.05) put up poor numbers. He drops to 4-5 with
the loss.
The Stigs vs. Balls Deep
Balls Deep had a perfect storm of monster games in Week 9. Aaron Rodgers (36.55),
Arian Foster (31.70), Ahmad Bradshaw (21.20) and Mike Wallace (17.00) each
make some big contributions to a big overall score of 153.55 for Balls Deep on his
way to easily defeating The Stigs. With the win, his record went above .500 at 5-4.
While The Stigs received one of Jay Cutler’s (25.30) better games against Buffalo, the
same unfortunately could not be said for Johnny Knox (4.90), who was left out in the
cold in Chicago’s passing attack. Either way, The Stigs might find condolence in the
fact that his team didn’t play well enough to be a completely wasted week against
such a high score from Balls Deep.
Da Birds vs. Boomstick’sPimpHand
A close match between these two teams highlighted just how underrated Eli
Manning might be in the fantasy world. Manning (32.40) went head-to-head against
Drew Brees (23.65) in this matchup and came out on top. His play vaulted was
enough points to vault Boomstick’sPimpHand to the six-point win over DaBirds.
Dallas Clark’s injury replacement, Jacob Tamme (16.80), and Rashard Mendenhall
(19.00) were some other solid contributors for Boomstick’sPimpHand, who
improved to 7-2, tied for the league’s best record. Unfortunately for DaBirds, two
blank scores from Kevin Walter and Darrius Heyward-Bey crushed his chances at
winning the match.
Skins Domination vs. howbouththemcowboys
99.60 to 99.25. Obviously, every point counted in this matchup, as Skins Domination
escaped by the skin of his teeth for a win over howboutthemcowboys. It was also
Skins Domination’s first win of the season. While some of his players like Devery
Henderson (0.00) and Justin Forsett (0.40) barely contributed anything, Brett
Favre (35.40) came through for the team with one of the largest scores of the week.
Howboutthemcowboys had some great scores from Josh Freeman (22.05) and the
Packers defense (28), but in the end, it all came up just a bit short. Luckily, he only
fell to 4-5 because of the loss.
Necessary Roughness vs. Team WTF
Whether or not Mark Sanchez is improving as a real quarterback in the NFL, he’s
gradually becoming a more consistent fantasy option, proving that this week
with a 28.90 performance against Detroit. His play, along with Michael Turner
(22.70) and Dwayne Bowe (12.30) led Team WTF to an easy 30-point victory. His
record improves to 3-6, giving him a little life at a chance to make the playoffs. His
opponent, Necessary Roughness, had solid games from Steve Johnson (14.50), Dez
Bryant (12.60) and Matt Schaub (12.45), but when he needed an excellent game
from one of his players that never came. He moves to 3-6 as well.
Notorious ego vs. Plan B
There wasn’t much that could go wrong for notorious ego in this matchup, save for a
horrid performance from Beanie Wells (-0.20). Tom Brady (23.30), Adrian Peterson
(26.40), and Hakeem Nicks (18.80) all had outstanding weeks for him on his way
to a comfortable win over Plan B. His record moves up to 6-3, which is just one win
behind the league leaders. Plan B fared well with Carson Palmer (23.40) and Greg
Jennings (14.00), but Miles Austin and Felix Jones, both scoring 1.60, carried the
Cowboys trend of failure this season into the fantasy realm. Plan B only drops to 5-4
with the loss, which shouldn’t affect her chances at a playoff birth much.
Team Tuch vs. Go Blue!
At the beginning of the season, there were people in fantasy who questioned when
Peyton Hillis’ fluke would be over. He would prove to be a substandard running
back who had just taken advantage of weak defenses. But as we enter the second
half of the season, Hillis is still putting up week in and week out. In Week 9, his
success continued as he racked up 33 points off of 184 yards and two touchdowns,
leading Team Tuch to 129.30 points and a win over Go Blue! to tie for a league best
record at 7-2. Team Tuch also made a great start of note this week, promoting James
Jones (18.30) into the starting lineup, knowing that Donald Driver would be out
with an injury in the Packers game against Dallas. For Go Blue!, mostly everyone on
his team outside of Philip Rivers (37.05) put up poor numbers. He drops to 4-5 with
the loss.
The Stigs vs. Balls Deep
Balls Deep had a perfect storm of monster games in Week 9. Aaron Rodgers (36.55),
Arian Foster (31.70), Ahmad Bradshaw (21.20) and Mike Wallace (17.00) each
make some big contributions to a big overall score of 153.55 for Balls Deep on his
way to easily defeating The Stigs. With the win, his record went above .500 at 5-4.
While The Stigs received one of Jay Cutler’s (25.30) better games against Buffalo, the
same unfortunately could not be said for Johnny Knox (4.90), who was left out in the
cold in Chicago’s passing attack. Either way, The Stigs might find condolence in the
fact that his team didn’t play well enough to be a completely wasted week against
such a high score from Balls Deep.
Da Birds vs. Boomstick’sPimpHand
A close match between these two teams highlighted just how underrated Eli
Manning might be in the fantasy world. Manning (32.40) went head-to-head against
Drew Brees (23.65) in this matchup and came out on top. His play vaulted was
enough points to vault Boomstick’sPimpHand to the six-point win over DaBirds.
Dallas Clark’s injury replacement, Jacob Tamme (16.80), and Rashard Mendenhall
(19.00) were some other solid contributors for Boomstick’sPimpHand, who
improved to 7-2, tied for the league’s best record. Unfortunately for DaBirds, two
blank scores from Kevin Walter and Darrius Heyward-Bey crushed his chances at
winning the match.
Skins Domination vs. howbouththemcowboys
99.60 to 99.25. Obviously, every point counted in this matchup, as Skins Domination
escaped by the skin of his teeth for a win over howboutthemcowboys. It was also
Skins Domination’s first win of the season. While some of his players like Devery
Henderson (0.00) and Justin Forsett (0.40) barely contributed anything, Brett
Favre (35.40) came through for the team with one of the largest scores of the week.
Howboutthemcowboys had some great scores from Josh Freeman (22.05) and the
Packers defense (28), but in the end, it all came up just a bit short. Luckily, he only
fell to 4-5 because of the loss.
Necessary Roughness vs. Team WTF
Whether or not Mark Sanchez is improving as a real quarterback in the NFL, he’s
gradually becoming a more consistent fantasy option, proving that this week
with a 28.90 performance against Detroit. His play, along with Michael Turner
(22.70) and Dwayne Bowe (12.30) led Team WTF to an easy 30-point victory. His
record improves to 3-6, giving him a little life at a chance to make the playoffs. His
opponent, Necessary Roughness, had solid games from Steve Johnson (14.50), Dez
Bryant (12.60) and Matt Schaub (12.45), but when he needed an excellent game
from one of his players that never came. He moves to 3-6 as well.
Notorious ego vs. Plan B
There wasn’t much that could go wrong for notorious ego in this matchup, save for a
horrid performance from Beanie Wells (-0.20). Tom Brady (23.30), Adrian Peterson
(26.40), and Hakeem Nicks (18.80) all had outstanding weeks for him on his way
to a comfortable win over Plan B. His record moves up to 6-3, which is just one win
behind the league leaders. Plan B fared well with Carson Palmer (23.40) and Greg
Jennings (14.00), but Miles Austin and Felix Jones, both scoring 1.60, carried the
Cowboys trend of failure this season into the fantasy realm. Plan B only drops to 5-4
with the loss, which shouldn’t affect her chances at a playoff birth much.
City of Champs Week 9 Report
By Colin Thompson
Big Ben’s Bathroom vs. Bayside Tigers
Big Ben’s Bathroom got back on the winning track against the Bayside Tigers winning
122 to 95. The Tigers must have been licking their chops after Aaron Rodgers and
Peyton Hillis both scored 30+ points (33 and 35 respectively) but unfortunately nobody
else on their squad was able to get double digit fantasy points except for their kicker
Matt Bryant. Benching a number 1 running back like Brandon Jackson was a mistake
but his 18 points wouldn’t have made a difference this week. Big Ben’s Bathroom could
do no wrong as they had everyone in double figures except for Jamaal Charles with 9
and injured kicker Stephen Gostkowski.
Piece of Ice vs. Testi Cool
In another important battle Piece of Ice was able to control Testi Cool for much of
their matchup and move to 5-4 while Testi Cool dropped to 3-6. The starters for Ice
really came to play this week as Philip Rivers was brilliant again scoring 32 points and
their ground game was simply sensational with Michael Turner and Ahmad Bradshaw
combining for 47 points. Despite big days from Steve Johnson and Rashard Mendenhall
Testi Cool just couldn’t get enough out of his other skill position players to compete with
Piece of Ice this week. There will be better days ahead for this team once Kyle Orton
returns.
Team XXX vs. Rapethlis burghers
Building off last week’s victory Team XXX earned its second consecutive win knocking
off the Rapethlis burghers 118 to 66 in a rather lopsided affair. Matthew Stafford and
Arian Foster carried this team with Stafford scoring 28 before he was sidelined with
an injury and Foster ripping off 36 points. It will be interesting to see going forward if
backup Jay Cutler can replace the injured Stafford. Nothing went right for the Rapethlis
burghers as big guns Peyton Manning and Darren McFadden only managed 20 points
combined. It’s tough to argue playing Peyton over his brother Eli but it hurts to leave his
28 points on the bench.
Tig ManBitties vs. Little Italy
Tig ManBitties handed Little Italy their 2nd straight loss and got some monster
performances from his players along the way. Mr. Monday Night Terrell Owens had 31
points in primetime and Adrian ‘All Day” Peterson scored 26 to power ManBitties to the
victory. What’s interesting is how good of a week it could have been if they had played
Ronnie Brown instead of Ricky Williams and Braylon Edwards instead of Miles Austin.
It would have resulted in 24 more points. It’s tough to bench Miles Austin but Brown
should start ahead of Williams at this point.
Beach Bums vs. Air Force One
Despite a strong performance from the Steeler defense (23 points) Beach Bums fell
short of Air Force One by a score of 88 to 78. The biggest mistake of the weekend was
probably playing Ben Roethlisberger over Michael Vick as that 17 point difference would
have been enough to win. Youth may need to be served on Beach Bums receiving core
as Mike Williams of Tampa Bay and his 14 points was benched for elderly statesman
Hines Ward and his 4 points. Meanwhile Air Force One was powered by the explosive
play of DeSean Jackson who led the team with 23 points.
Big Ben’s Bathroom vs. Bayside Tigers
Big Ben’s Bathroom got back on the winning track against the Bayside Tigers winning
122 to 95. The Tigers must have been licking their chops after Aaron Rodgers and
Peyton Hillis both scored 30+ points (33 and 35 respectively) but unfortunately nobody
else on their squad was able to get double digit fantasy points except for their kicker
Matt Bryant. Benching a number 1 running back like Brandon Jackson was a mistake
but his 18 points wouldn’t have made a difference this week. Big Ben’s Bathroom could
do no wrong as they had everyone in double figures except for Jamaal Charles with 9
and injured kicker Stephen Gostkowski.
Piece of Ice vs. Testi Cool
In another important battle Piece of Ice was able to control Testi Cool for much of
their matchup and move to 5-4 while Testi Cool dropped to 3-6. The starters for Ice
really came to play this week as Philip Rivers was brilliant again scoring 32 points and
their ground game was simply sensational with Michael Turner and Ahmad Bradshaw
combining for 47 points. Despite big days from Steve Johnson and Rashard Mendenhall
Testi Cool just couldn’t get enough out of his other skill position players to compete with
Piece of Ice this week. There will be better days ahead for this team once Kyle Orton
returns.
Team XXX vs. Rapethlis burghers
Building off last week’s victory Team XXX earned its second consecutive win knocking
off the Rapethlis burghers 118 to 66 in a rather lopsided affair. Matthew Stafford and
Arian Foster carried this team with Stafford scoring 28 before he was sidelined with
an injury and Foster ripping off 36 points. It will be interesting to see going forward if
backup Jay Cutler can replace the injured Stafford. Nothing went right for the Rapethlis
burghers as big guns Peyton Manning and Darren McFadden only managed 20 points
combined. It’s tough to argue playing Peyton over his brother Eli but it hurts to leave his
28 points on the bench.
Tig ManBitties vs. Little Italy
Tig ManBitties handed Little Italy their 2nd straight loss and got some monster
performances from his players along the way. Mr. Monday Night Terrell Owens had 31
points in primetime and Adrian ‘All Day” Peterson scored 26 to power ManBitties to the
victory. What’s interesting is how good of a week it could have been if they had played
Ronnie Brown instead of Ricky Williams and Braylon Edwards instead of Miles Austin.
It would have resulted in 24 more points. It’s tough to bench Miles Austin but Brown
should start ahead of Williams at this point.
Beach Bums vs. Air Force One
Despite a strong performance from the Steeler defense (23 points) Beach Bums fell
short of Air Force One by a score of 88 to 78. The biggest mistake of the weekend was
probably playing Ben Roethlisberger over Michael Vick as that 17 point difference would
have been enough to win. Youth may need to be served on Beach Bums receiving core
as Mike Williams of Tampa Bay and his 14 points was benched for elderly statesman
Hines Ward and his 4 points. Meanwhile Air Force One was powered by the explosive
play of DeSean Jackson who led the team with 23 points.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Schoep’s League Week 9 Report
By Colin Thompson
Just Kaeding vs. Phil’s p-hoes
In a high scoring affair Just Kaeding improved to 6-3 while handing Phil’s p-hoes their
4th loss. The Green Bay defense sealed the victory for Just Kaeding as they scored a
monstrous 36.4 points on Sunday night, outscoring Phil’s p-hoes Miami defense by 26.7
points. I guess the loss doesn’t hurt as bad as it would have if Phil’s p-hoes had started
the Minnesota defense instead. They were left on the bench and would have added
17.7 points but it still wouldn’t have been enough. Perhaps it’s time to cut ties with
Heath Miller who just isn’t adding anything to their team and his 2.1 points last week
were evidence of that. Someone should tell him that Dallas Clark is out for the season
and can be safely dropped.
Raider Nation vs. Jokeland Haters
Raider Nation continues its dominance over the rest of the league with a commanding
186 to 134.16 victory over the Jokeland Haters. The highest scoring team in week 9
saw spectacular performances from Arian Foster and Aaron Rodgers on offense. Foster
amassed 35.7 points and Rodgers put up great numbers on his way to 27.66 points.
One thing that the Raider Nation has figured out nicely is that wide receivers such as
Jacoby Jones who return kicks and catch passes have extra value. Jones only had 4
catches for 41 yards but his return yardage allowed him to put up 16.3 total points which
was more than both of Jokeland’s starters Hines Ward and Davone Bess combined.
Call of Booty vs. The Destroyers
The return men is really the way to go here, as The Destroyers got two huge games
from Stefan Logan (14.2 pts) and Larod Stephens-Howling (26.7 pts). To put that into
perspective, Michael Turner who was a consensus top 10 pick in all drafts scored 26.7
points as well, the exact same amount as Stephens-Howling who was drafted nowhere
near the top 10.
Assassins vs. Agustin
The lowest scoring matchup of the week took place between Assassins and Agustin
which saw Assassins pull off the victory 90.18 to 86.4. Agustin clearly dropped the ball
in this matchup as they almost won but refused to start Matthew Stafford in place of an
injured Alex Smith. Also why is Josh Johnson on their roster when actual starters like
Jason Campbell and Colt McCoy are available? The fact that an injured Zach Miller and
Santana Moss who was on a bye were started shows that the 1-8 Agustin has probably
given up.
Raider Hater vs. Virginia Charger Fan
Virginia Charger Fan picked up a much needed victory over Raider Hater 115.86 to
96.56 to improve to 4-5. Despite Matt Moore having his season ended after just 0.52
points the rest of their team picked up the slack. Adrian Peterson was a stud yet again
scoring 26.4 points and his receiving core of Larry Fitzgerald and Greg Jennings
outscored Raider Hater’s by 19.8 total points. It’s not like there was much help on
Raider Hater’s bench though as there were only 4.6 total points available which wouldn’t
have made a difference in this one.
Just Kaeding vs. Phil’s p-hoes
In a high scoring affair Just Kaeding improved to 6-3 while handing Phil’s p-hoes their
4th loss. The Green Bay defense sealed the victory for Just Kaeding as they scored a
monstrous 36.4 points on Sunday night, outscoring Phil’s p-hoes Miami defense by 26.7
points. I guess the loss doesn’t hurt as bad as it would have if Phil’s p-hoes had started
the Minnesota defense instead. They were left on the bench and would have added
17.7 points but it still wouldn’t have been enough. Perhaps it’s time to cut ties with
Heath Miller who just isn’t adding anything to their team and his 2.1 points last week
were evidence of that. Someone should tell him that Dallas Clark is out for the season
and can be safely dropped.
Raider Nation vs. Jokeland Haters
Raider Nation continues its dominance over the rest of the league with a commanding
186 to 134.16 victory over the Jokeland Haters. The highest scoring team in week 9
saw spectacular performances from Arian Foster and Aaron Rodgers on offense. Foster
amassed 35.7 points and Rodgers put up great numbers on his way to 27.66 points.
One thing that the Raider Nation has figured out nicely is that wide receivers such as
Jacoby Jones who return kicks and catch passes have extra value. Jones only had 4
catches for 41 yards but his return yardage allowed him to put up 16.3 total points which
was more than both of Jokeland’s starters Hines Ward and Davone Bess combined.
Call of Booty vs. The Destroyers
The return men is really the way to go here, as The Destroyers got two huge games
from Stefan Logan (14.2 pts) and Larod Stephens-Howling (26.7 pts). To put that into
perspective, Michael Turner who was a consensus top 10 pick in all drafts scored 26.7
points as well, the exact same amount as Stephens-Howling who was drafted nowhere
near the top 10.
Assassins vs. Agustin
The lowest scoring matchup of the week took place between Assassins and Agustin
which saw Assassins pull off the victory 90.18 to 86.4. Agustin clearly dropped the ball
in this matchup as they almost won but refused to start Matthew Stafford in place of an
injured Alex Smith. Also why is Josh Johnson on their roster when actual starters like
Jason Campbell and Colt McCoy are available? The fact that an injured Zach Miller and
Santana Moss who was on a bye were started shows that the 1-8 Agustin has probably
given up.
Raider Hater vs. Virginia Charger Fan
Virginia Charger Fan picked up a much needed victory over Raider Hater 115.86 to
96.56 to improve to 4-5. Despite Matt Moore having his season ended after just 0.52
points the rest of their team picked up the slack. Adrian Peterson was a stud yet again
scoring 26.4 points and his receiving core of Larry Fitzgerald and Greg Jennings
outscored Raider Hater’s by 19.8 total points. It’s not like there was much help on
Raider Hater’s bench though as there were only 4.6 total points available which wouldn’t
have made a difference in this one.
SCRUF - Week #9
by Andrew Mishler
Team Gary Boys vs. More Cowbell
Rashard Mendenhall continued his excellent 2010 campaign on Monday night
against the Bengals to the tune of 99 yards rushing and one touchdown, leading
Gary Boys to an 11-point victory over More Cowbell. It also turned out to be the
perfect week to start Brandon Jackson for Gary Boys, as he ran over Dallas for
42 yards and two touchdowns on his way to 20.8 points. Mendenhall’s big game
on the ground limited Ben Roethlisberger through the air, and unfortunately for
More Cowbell, Roethlisberger was his starting quarterback this week. Even more
unfortunate was Eli Manning’s three touchdowns and 22.9 points that sat on More
Cowbell’s bench.
Killer B’s vs. Springfield Flush
The chance at starting both Kansas City running backs against a weak Oakland
Raiders defense was too enticing to pass up for Springfield Flush, but in the end, his
all-Chiefs rushing attack backfired on him. Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones only
accounted for 15.7 points altogether, leaving Killer B’s to a somewhat easy 10-point
victory over Springfield Flush. Killer B’s didn’t have a strong from his team either,
but Jay Cutler (18.9) and Dwayne Bowe’s (14.8) impressive performances were
enough to pull it out.
Devlin Magregor vs. Springfield GMEN
While the Bengals have had a poor season to this point, Terrell Owens has been a
bright spot, proving in each game that he still one of the great wide receivers in the
league. He continued that against Pittsburgh this week by 33.1 points off of 141
yards and two touchdowns, leading Springfield GMEN to a 15-point win over Devlin
Magregor. Springfield GMEN also received some big games from the Packers defense
(28), which took advantage of a Dallas team in turmoil, and Ronnie Brown (18.4).
For Devlin Magregor, it was still a productive week. Peyton Hillis (33.5) and Adrian
Peterson (28.4) both put up huge points, and Tom Brady (16.1) wasn’t far behind.
Team EMAC vs. The Hoagies
You have to feel terrible for EMAC in this matchup. He made two excellent plays
by placing both Seyi Aijortutu (27.1) and Randy McMichael (15.3) who were both
serving as injury relplacements for San Diego, into his starting lineup. Those two
decisions couldn’t have worked out much better for him, as both players caught two
touchdowns apiece. Unfortunately, his great decisions were in vain, as the Hoagies
still managed to beat him by nine points with the help of Philip Rivers (24.3), Ray
Rice (21.5) and Larry Fitzgerald (16.2).
B G Express vs. Rocky Mountain Oysters
Both Arian Foster (33.7) and Hakeem Nicks (23.8) have been virtually unstoppable
this season, so should it really be considered fair when both players are on the same
team in fantasy football? Fair or not, B G Express started both players and rode
their high scores to a big 35-point win over Rocky Mountain Oysters. He also had a
great game from Michael Turner ( 22.7). Rocky Mountain Oysters benefited from the
return of Michael Vick (25.4), but didn’t get much else from his team beyond some
solid scores from Cedric Benson (14.4) and Braylon Edwards (13.3).
Wonder Twins vs. Pigskin Fetish
Dallas Clark out, Jacob Tamme in. That’s all the was to it for Wonder Twins, whose
highest score in this matchup came from Tamme (24.3) this week and led him
to an 8-point win over Pigskin Fetish. Tamme caught 11 passes for 108 yards in
a touchdown against the Eagles, playing just as well as Dallas Clark in the Colts
offense. Right behind him in Wonder Twins’ lineup was the Saints defense (21),
Greg Jennings (17.5) and Dez Bryant (17.1). Pigskin Fetish was no slouch either this
week, as Aaron Rodgers (27.1) and Ahmad Bradshaw (23.2) each had some great
games. However, he wasn’t so lucky with Calvin Johnson (1.8), whose performance
suffered due to Revis Island.
Team Gary Boys vs. More Cowbell
Rashard Mendenhall continued his excellent 2010 campaign on Monday night
against the Bengals to the tune of 99 yards rushing and one touchdown, leading
Gary Boys to an 11-point victory over More Cowbell. It also turned out to be the
perfect week to start Brandon Jackson for Gary Boys, as he ran over Dallas for
42 yards and two touchdowns on his way to 20.8 points. Mendenhall’s big game
on the ground limited Ben Roethlisberger through the air, and unfortunately for
More Cowbell, Roethlisberger was his starting quarterback this week. Even more
unfortunate was Eli Manning’s three touchdowns and 22.9 points that sat on More
Cowbell’s bench.
Killer B’s vs. Springfield Flush
The chance at starting both Kansas City running backs against a weak Oakland
Raiders defense was too enticing to pass up for Springfield Flush, but in the end, his
all-Chiefs rushing attack backfired on him. Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones only
accounted for 15.7 points altogether, leaving Killer B’s to a somewhat easy 10-point
victory over Springfield Flush. Killer B’s didn’t have a strong from his team either,
but Jay Cutler (18.9) and Dwayne Bowe’s (14.8) impressive performances were
enough to pull it out.
Devlin Magregor vs. Springfield GMEN
While the Bengals have had a poor season to this point, Terrell Owens has been a
bright spot, proving in each game that he still one of the great wide receivers in the
league. He continued that against Pittsburgh this week by 33.1 points off of 141
yards and two touchdowns, leading Springfield GMEN to a 15-point win over Devlin
Magregor. Springfield GMEN also received some big games from the Packers defense
(28), which took advantage of a Dallas team in turmoil, and Ronnie Brown (18.4).
For Devlin Magregor, it was still a productive week. Peyton Hillis (33.5) and Adrian
Peterson (28.4) both put up huge points, and Tom Brady (16.1) wasn’t far behind.
Team EMAC vs. The Hoagies
You have to feel terrible for EMAC in this matchup. He made two excellent plays
by placing both Seyi Aijortutu (27.1) and Randy McMichael (15.3) who were both
serving as injury relplacements for San Diego, into his starting lineup. Those two
decisions couldn’t have worked out much better for him, as both players caught two
touchdowns apiece. Unfortunately, his great decisions were in vain, as the Hoagies
still managed to beat him by nine points with the help of Philip Rivers (24.3), Ray
Rice (21.5) and Larry Fitzgerald (16.2).
B G Express vs. Rocky Mountain Oysters
Both Arian Foster (33.7) and Hakeem Nicks (23.8) have been virtually unstoppable
this season, so should it really be considered fair when both players are on the same
team in fantasy football? Fair or not, B G Express started both players and rode
their high scores to a big 35-point win over Rocky Mountain Oysters. He also had a
great game from Michael Turner ( 22.7). Rocky Mountain Oysters benefited from the
return of Michael Vick (25.4), but didn’t get much else from his team beyond some
solid scores from Cedric Benson (14.4) and Braylon Edwards (13.3).
Wonder Twins vs. Pigskin Fetish
Dallas Clark out, Jacob Tamme in. That’s all the was to it for Wonder Twins, whose
highest score in this matchup came from Tamme (24.3) this week and led him
to an 8-point win over Pigskin Fetish. Tamme caught 11 passes for 108 yards in
a touchdown against the Eagles, playing just as well as Dallas Clark in the Colts
offense. Right behind him in Wonder Twins’ lineup was the Saints defense (21),
Greg Jennings (17.5) and Dez Bryant (17.1). Pigskin Fetish was no slouch either this
week, as Aaron Rodgers (27.1) and Ahmad Bradshaw (23.2) each had some great
games. However, he wasn’t so lucky with Calvin Johnson (1.8), whose performance
suffered due to Revis Island.
Napolean's Minions - Week #9
by Chris Ryan
Green Geckos
The Green Geckos topped the league with 146 total points in Week 9, moving them from eighth place to up to sixth. As expected the QB duo of Tom Brady and Michael Vick was outstanding, and Adrian Peterson did what does, racking up big points on the ground and through the air. Ronnie Brown finally had a bit of a breakout game, as did Santonio Holmes, while Jacob Tamme solidified himself as a top three TE going forward with a huge against the Eagles. The forgotten man, Billy Cundiff, kicked four field goals and two extra points to contribute to high point total.
Necessary Roughness
Necessary Roughness posted 126 points, good for the third-highest total, but it wasn't enough to move them out of the second spot in the standings, as they still trail Happy Ending Boy by 31 points. Monday Night Football was very good Roughness. Terrell Owens and Rashard Mendenhall had monster performances, while Ben Roethlisberger were Heath Miller were decent. Dwayne Bowe had a fine day as well, and the team should only get stronger with the return of Antonio Gates and Sidney Rice.
Green Gangsters
It's been a rough season, but Week 9 was friendly to the Green Gangsters. The unimposing QB duo of Matt Cassel and Colt McCoy weren't terrible, and Percy Harvin, Mike Wallace and Visanthe Shiancoe all had impressive and productive showings. The Gangsters stud is Michael Turner, and he lived up to his stature against Tampa Bay. Unfortunately, the 131 points (2nd highest in the league) weren't enough to get the Green Gangsters out of the cellar.
Chunga's Revenge
A week after pacing the league with 133 points, Chunga's Revenge could only muster 115 in Week 9, though it was enough to keep them comfortably in third place in the overall standings. The Eli Manning/Philip Rivers QB combination may be the best in the league, and they certainly performed like it last week. Chris Johnson's absence was definitely felt, but Ahmad Bradshaw picked up the slack, and Jamaal Charles still produced positive numbers despite limited carries. If Pierre Garcon and Andre Johnson had only played up to expectations, Chunga could have had a huge day and made some serious headway in the standings.
Aging Alcoholics
The team directly behind Chunga's Revenge in the standings, Aging Alcoholics, had a miserable week, finishing with a lowly 88 points. Matthew Stafford was great but got hurt, while Matt Schaub was mediocre...again. With Joseph Addai hurt and Mojo on BYE, Donald Brown and Fred Jackson received starts and performed decently, but were nothing special. Calvin Johnson and Brandon Marshall were especially disappointing for AA, who lost 27 points to Chunga's Revenge but still sit in fourth place.
Team Ramrod
Team Ramrod was the least productive team in the league in Week 9. Ryan Fitzpatrick and Carson Palmer were adequate, and Reggie Wayne and Mike Williams had strong showings, but the running back situation continues to drag Team Ramrod lower in the standings. With Steven Jackson on BYE, it was up to Tim Hightower, Darren Sproles and an injured DeAngelo Williams to pick up the slack, and they failed in epic fashion, combining for just 45 total yards.
Sarge's 13
It wasn't the best of showing for Sarge's 13 -- they finished with 110 points, the third lowest total this week -- but they still gained 22 points on AA, and are now sit just five points out of the fourth spot in the standings. The QBs were great, with Jay Cutler feasting on the Bills and Mark Sanchez putting up huge numbers late in the Jets comeback win, and Ray Rice had an outstanding day, but everyone else was fairly disappointing. There's enough talent on Sarge's 13 to bounce back and move up the standings in the coming week though.
Happy Ending Boy
Another strong showing has Happy Ending Boy sitting atop the league standings with a 31 point margin for error. They posted the fourth highest point total this week, and they did it with a balanced effort from the entire squad. Josh Freeman and Matt Ryan faced off and contributed good numbers, while the running backs chipped in positive yardage numbers despite not scoring a touchdown. DeSean Jackson and Larry Fitzgerald each topped 100 receiving yards, and Dustin Keller hauled in a late touchdown to help Happy Ending Boy to yet another strong showing.
Napoleon
Napoleon used huge games from Peyton Hillis and Hakeem Nicks to post 122 points, good for the fifth best point total, but they still dropped a place in the standings thanks to the Green Gecko's big Week 9 performance. The return of Randy Moss should be a big help as Napoleon fights it out in the middle of the standings.
Joe Zujkowski
Like Napoleon, Joe Zujkowski had a decent day by scoring 122 points, but also fell behind the Green Gecko's. Brett Favre was unbelievable in throwing for 400-plus yards, and Joe Flacco had yet another multi-touchdown game. Arian Foster also added to the point total by dominating on the ground, and catching four balls for 70 yards. The rest of the roster didn't quite perform up to their usual standards. Trailing the Gecko's by only for points in the overall standings, Zujkowski can't afford a let-down in Week 10.
Green Geckos
The Green Geckos topped the league with 146 total points in Week 9, moving them from eighth place to up to sixth. As expected the QB duo of Tom Brady and Michael Vick was outstanding, and Adrian Peterson did what does, racking up big points on the ground and through the air. Ronnie Brown finally had a bit of a breakout game, as did Santonio Holmes, while Jacob Tamme solidified himself as a top three TE going forward with a huge against the Eagles. The forgotten man, Billy Cundiff, kicked four field goals and two extra points to contribute to high point total.
Necessary Roughness
Necessary Roughness posted 126 points, good for the third-highest total, but it wasn't enough to move them out of the second spot in the standings, as they still trail Happy Ending Boy by 31 points. Monday Night Football was very good Roughness. Terrell Owens and Rashard Mendenhall had monster performances, while Ben Roethlisberger were Heath Miller were decent. Dwayne Bowe had a fine day as well, and the team should only get stronger with the return of Antonio Gates and Sidney Rice.
Green Gangsters
It's been a rough season, but Week 9 was friendly to the Green Gangsters. The unimposing QB duo of Matt Cassel and Colt McCoy weren't terrible, and Percy Harvin, Mike Wallace and Visanthe Shiancoe all had impressive and productive showings. The Gangsters stud is Michael Turner, and he lived up to his stature against Tampa Bay. Unfortunately, the 131 points (2nd highest in the league) weren't enough to get the Green Gangsters out of the cellar.
Chunga's Revenge
A week after pacing the league with 133 points, Chunga's Revenge could only muster 115 in Week 9, though it was enough to keep them comfortably in third place in the overall standings. The Eli Manning/Philip Rivers QB combination may be the best in the league, and they certainly performed like it last week. Chris Johnson's absence was definitely felt, but Ahmad Bradshaw picked up the slack, and Jamaal Charles still produced positive numbers despite limited carries. If Pierre Garcon and Andre Johnson had only played up to expectations, Chunga could have had a huge day and made some serious headway in the standings.
Aging Alcoholics
The team directly behind Chunga's Revenge in the standings, Aging Alcoholics, had a miserable week, finishing with a lowly 88 points. Matthew Stafford was great but got hurt, while Matt Schaub was mediocre...again. With Joseph Addai hurt and Mojo on BYE, Donald Brown and Fred Jackson received starts and performed decently, but were nothing special. Calvin Johnson and Brandon Marshall were especially disappointing for AA, who lost 27 points to Chunga's Revenge but still sit in fourth place.
Team Ramrod
Team Ramrod was the least productive team in the league in Week 9. Ryan Fitzpatrick and Carson Palmer were adequate, and Reggie Wayne and Mike Williams had strong showings, but the running back situation continues to drag Team Ramrod lower in the standings. With Steven Jackson on BYE, it was up to Tim Hightower, Darren Sproles and an injured DeAngelo Williams to pick up the slack, and they failed in epic fashion, combining for just 45 total yards.
Sarge's 13
It wasn't the best of showing for Sarge's 13 -- they finished with 110 points, the third lowest total this week -- but they still gained 22 points on AA, and are now sit just five points out of the fourth spot in the standings. The QBs were great, with Jay Cutler feasting on the Bills and Mark Sanchez putting up huge numbers late in the Jets comeback win, and Ray Rice had an outstanding day, but everyone else was fairly disappointing. There's enough talent on Sarge's 13 to bounce back and move up the standings in the coming week though.
Happy Ending Boy
Another strong showing has Happy Ending Boy sitting atop the league standings with a 31 point margin for error. They posted the fourth highest point total this week, and they did it with a balanced effort from the entire squad. Josh Freeman and Matt Ryan faced off and contributed good numbers, while the running backs chipped in positive yardage numbers despite not scoring a touchdown. DeSean Jackson and Larry Fitzgerald each topped 100 receiving yards, and Dustin Keller hauled in a late touchdown to help Happy Ending Boy to yet another strong showing.
Napoleon
Napoleon used huge games from Peyton Hillis and Hakeem Nicks to post 122 points, good for the fifth best point total, but they still dropped a place in the standings thanks to the Green Gecko's big Week 9 performance. The return of Randy Moss should be a big help as Napoleon fights it out in the middle of the standings.
Joe Zujkowski
Like Napoleon, Joe Zujkowski had a decent day by scoring 122 points, but also fell behind the Green Gecko's. Brett Favre was unbelievable in throwing for 400-plus yards, and Joe Flacco had yet another multi-touchdown game. Arian Foster also added to the point total by dominating on the ground, and catching four balls for 70 yards. The rest of the roster didn't quite perform up to their usual standards. Trailing the Gecko's by only for points in the overall standings, Zujkowski can't afford a let-down in Week 10.
3YKffl Midseason Week #9
Horwitch 105 Fienberg 13
In over a decade of playing fantasy football, I'm not sure I've seen as lopsided a score as Horwitch's blasting of Fienberg in Week 9. Peyton Hillis was a monster for Horwitch, who sit tied atop the NFC standings, scoring 42 points, and Michael Vick (18), Ahmad Bradshaw (17) also made positive contributions. Fienberg, who is still in contention with a 5-4 record, got 10 points from Matt Ryan, three from Mike Nugent, and zero from his six other players. Better times are certainly ahead for Fienberg, but last week's performance will sting for a long time to come.
Meyers 85 Goldston 64
In a battle of 4-4 teams, Meyers held a comfortable 62-29 lead heading into the Sunday night game between the Packers and Cowboys. Goldston narrowed the margin considerable with the Packers D/ST putting up 17 points and Greg Jennings chipping in 9, but Meyers got 12 from Brandon Jackson in a breakout game, to hold a 74-55 lead going into Monday night. Jeff Reed outscored Cedric Benson 11 points to 9 on MNF, allowing Meyers to pull away for the much needed victory.
Steele 128 Berman 87
Things just keep getting worse for Berman. Powered Aaron Rodger's 27 points and Ray Rice's 21, Berman trailed by just five points going into the Monday night game between the Bengals and Steelers. He had a chance with Hines Ward still left to play, but Rashard Mendenhall (18) and Terrell Owens (24) both had monster games to propel Steele to the week's highest point total. Arian Foster went off for 36 and Philip Rivers had 25 in the winning effort. Steele now tops the AFC standings with a 6-3 record, while Berman falls to a disappointing 2-7.
Freedman 67 Chaiken 36
Yawn. The NFC division-leading Chaiken matched up with bottom-feeder Freedman in what proved to be a snooze-fest in Week 9. Michael Turner and Drew Brees combined for 34 points, which was only two less than Chaiken's entire team posted. BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Beanie Wells, Brandon Tate and the Vikings D/ST all posted goose-eggs, and Mike Williams and Nick Folk were the only players in double figures. The bench didn't fare much better, meaning it was just one of those weeks for Chaiken. Freedman picked up his second win on the year in the low-scoring affair.
In over a decade of playing fantasy football, I'm not sure I've seen as lopsided a score as Horwitch's blasting of Fienberg in Week 9. Peyton Hillis was a monster for Horwitch, who sit tied atop the NFC standings, scoring 42 points, and Michael Vick (18), Ahmad Bradshaw (17) also made positive contributions. Fienberg, who is still in contention with a 5-4 record, got 10 points from Matt Ryan, three from Mike Nugent, and zero from his six other players. Better times are certainly ahead for Fienberg, but last week's performance will sting for a long time to come.
Meyers 85 Goldston 64
In a battle of 4-4 teams, Meyers held a comfortable 62-29 lead heading into the Sunday night game between the Packers and Cowboys. Goldston narrowed the margin considerable with the Packers D/ST putting up 17 points and Greg Jennings chipping in 9, but Meyers got 12 from Brandon Jackson in a breakout game, to hold a 74-55 lead going into Monday night. Jeff Reed outscored Cedric Benson 11 points to 9 on MNF, allowing Meyers to pull away for the much needed victory.
Steele 128 Berman 87
Things just keep getting worse for Berman. Powered Aaron Rodger's 27 points and Ray Rice's 21, Berman trailed by just five points going into the Monday night game between the Bengals and Steelers. He had a chance with Hines Ward still left to play, but Rashard Mendenhall (18) and Terrell Owens (24) both had monster games to propel Steele to the week's highest point total. Arian Foster went off for 36 and Philip Rivers had 25 in the winning effort. Steele now tops the AFC standings with a 6-3 record, while Berman falls to a disappointing 2-7.
Freedman 67 Chaiken 36
Yawn. The NFC division-leading Chaiken matched up with bottom-feeder Freedman in what proved to be a snooze-fest in Week 9. Michael Turner and Drew Brees combined for 34 points, which was only two less than Chaiken's entire team posted. BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Beanie Wells, Brandon Tate and the Vikings D/ST all posted goose-eggs, and Mike Williams and Nick Folk were the only players in double figures. The bench didn't fare much better, meaning it was just one of those weeks for Chaiken. Freedman picked up his second win on the year in the low-scoring affair.
Taking Talents to South Beach – Week 9 Summaries
By Paul Pearson
IGoodInMyOtherLeague vs. Favre’s Huge Cock
This game could have served as a tribute to the immortal Larry Bird. That’s because the Cocks got a pair of 33-point performances (Philip Rivers with 33.1 points and Arian Foster with a team-high 33.7) in its 121.7-104.82 win over the OtherLeagues. Michael Turner wasn’t bad himself, scoring 22.7 for the Cocks, which survived a goose egg from the bye-week Rob Bironas. Adrian Peterson was the top performer for the OtherLeagues with 28.4 points. However, none of his fantasy teammates reached 15 points. Larry Fitzgerald, in one of his better outings of the season, came the closest with 14.2 points.
Moaning Sloths vs. Free17LetHimBallOut
It’s never a good sign when a 14.1-point performance has to be considered the highlight of your weekend. That’s what the Sloths got from Willis McGahee in a 92.94-66.94 defeat at the hands of the BallOuts. The only other Sloth to reach double digis was LeSean McCoy, who scored a grand total of 11.8 points. The Sloths even had to take a minus-2-point score from the New England Patriots defense/special teams, who never seemed to figure out what hit them in Cleveland. The BallOuts were led by two Baltimore Ravens: Joe Flacco (23.34 points) and Ray Rice (21.5). In all, four BallOut starters posted double-digits scores, and the team was able to shake off the 1.8 points from Calvin Johnson, who learned that Revis Island can be an unpleasant place to spend an afternoon.
Hochuli’s Biceps vs. IShouldBe7and1
Michael Vick announced his return to the starting lineup in a big way by outplaying Peyton Manning and scoring a team-leading 28.12 points for the 7and1s in a 96.32-88.46 victory over the Biceps. Ahmad Bradshaw added 23.2 points to the winning cause, but Stephen Gostkowski scored a single point – the last point he will score all season, as it turns out. Jacob Tamme, making a case for Waiver Wire Pickup of the Year, led the way for the Biceps with 22.3 points. But the Biceps mustered only 1.6 points from Felix Jones, and they had to deal with Manning’s unusually bad afternoon in Philadelphia (13.76 points).
The 69ers vs. Face Humping KRoesser
Terrell Owens and Cedric Benson nearly did it. In their valiant but losing effort against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Owens scored 31.1 points for the 69ers, and Benson scored 14.4. The 69ers almost pulled off the Monday night comeback, but the KRoessers held on for the 134.36-118.76 win. Aaron Rodgers led the KRoessers with 33.66 points, followed by the New Orleans Saints defense/special teams with 21. The lowest-scoring KRoesser starter was Patrick Crayton, who put up 8.5 points. By contrast, the lowest-scoring 69er starter was Benjamin Watson, who scored only 2.9 points and didn’t seem to benefit from the Cleveland dismantling of the New England Patriots.
Malken vs. Sneezin&Coughlin
This was the week to stay out of the Malkens’ way. Eight of their nine starters hit double digits, and six of them scored 20 or more, as the Malkens beat the Coughlins by a score of 179.12-128.7. Peyton Hillis, who ran roughshod over the Patriots, led the way for the Malkens with 36.5 points, followed by the Green Bay Packers defense/special teams with 28. The Coughlins were no slouches themselves. Even though they lost by the biggest margin of the week, their score would have beaten all but one of the other teams in this league. Seven starters reached double digits, but only two cleared the 20-point threshold: Eli Manning (29.5) and DeSean Jackson (22.4).
Haverford Trust - Game #9
by Jesse Katz
conViks (1-8) vs iced (2-7)
This battle of the last placed teams sure looked ugly, as both kickers came up with 14 or more fantasy points. Iced, finally showing some life, got some help from the double zeros put up by stagnant Steve Smith and Beanie Wells. I guess that’s what happens when you start two players on awful offenses. Look out for the battle for last place between these two abysmal teams.
Client 9 (6-3) vs Boyertown Crackers (4-5)
Client 9 took a share of first place this last week with the big 130-74 win over Boyertown Crackers. With the Packers defense coming up with a huge 30 points, if Client 9 didn’t win this matchup, he should ave gone into 2011 draft mode. A weak performance from Peyton Manning did not help the Cracker’s cause as he was outscored by Jay “I Still Exist!” Cutler. Cracker’s still fighting for a playoff spot does have something to look forward to however, as Steven Jackson is coming off of a bye week, and Manning has a very favorable matchup in the upcoming week.
Shake ‘n Bake (4-5) vs Lethal Weapons (5-4)
In the closest matchup of the week, Shake ‘n Bake edged their opponent 93-92, knocking Lethal Weapons out of first place. Even with Peyton Hillis’ big week, and a mere one point from Shake ‘n Bakes kicker, Lethal Weapons was still unable to win. Phillip Rivers and Peterson stepped it up big for Shake, as they combined for more then half of the team’s points. Looks like somebody might have gotten a little lucky….
Executioners (5-4) vs Mutley (6-3)
In a very high scoring matchup Mutley was able to outduel Executioners 110-93 this week and take first place in the Bulls division. With help from Arian Foster, and a little trickery in the Steelers game, Mutley was able to beat the well balanced scoring for that is Executioners. The Kitna factor definitely did not help Miles Austin, as he accounted for only one point in the Executioners loss.
King Cobra (5-4) vs Dancing Bears (6-3)
With a very weak performance from just about every on King Cobra, Dancing Bears pulled out a win 94-57. Most fans forgot to get their popcorn ready for this one, but that didn’t matter for Dancing Bears, as TO put up 31 points. King Cobra suffered from bye week blunders this past week, having stars Antonio Gates, Frank Gore, and Randy Moss all on bye. Things are looking bright however, as Vincent Jackson will be playing in just a few weeks. Watch out for this Cobra team come playoff time.
D-Money (6-3) vs 3 &Out (4-5)
In a close matchup D-Money made some great starts to pull out a 90-85 victory this past week. How do you expect to start Randy McMichael and win? Well, D-Money did and it paid off (everyone is thinking wow right now). The tight end came up with a big 14 fantasy points to go along with Aaron Rodgers 3 touchdowns. It doesn’t seem that 3 & Out wanted to get the win this week, starting Michael Bush at running back and possibly costing his team the win.
conViks (1-8) vs iced (2-7)
This battle of the last placed teams sure looked ugly, as both kickers came up with 14 or more fantasy points. Iced, finally showing some life, got some help from the double zeros put up by stagnant Steve Smith and Beanie Wells. I guess that’s what happens when you start two players on awful offenses. Look out for the battle for last place between these two abysmal teams.
Client 9 (6-3) vs Boyertown Crackers (4-5)
Client 9 took a share of first place this last week with the big 130-74 win over Boyertown Crackers. With the Packers defense coming up with a huge 30 points, if Client 9 didn’t win this matchup, he should ave gone into 2011 draft mode. A weak performance from Peyton Manning did not help the Cracker’s cause as he was outscored by Jay “I Still Exist!” Cutler. Cracker’s still fighting for a playoff spot does have something to look forward to however, as Steven Jackson is coming off of a bye week, and Manning has a very favorable matchup in the upcoming week.
Shake ‘n Bake (4-5) vs Lethal Weapons (5-4)
In the closest matchup of the week, Shake ‘n Bake edged their opponent 93-92, knocking Lethal Weapons out of first place. Even with Peyton Hillis’ big week, and a mere one point from Shake ‘n Bakes kicker, Lethal Weapons was still unable to win. Phillip Rivers and Peterson stepped it up big for Shake, as they combined for more then half of the team’s points. Looks like somebody might have gotten a little lucky….
Executioners (5-4) vs Mutley (6-3)
In a very high scoring matchup Mutley was able to outduel Executioners 110-93 this week and take first place in the Bulls division. With help from Arian Foster, and a little trickery in the Steelers game, Mutley was able to beat the well balanced scoring for that is Executioners. The Kitna factor definitely did not help Miles Austin, as he accounted for only one point in the Executioners loss.
King Cobra (5-4) vs Dancing Bears (6-3)
With a very weak performance from just about every on King Cobra, Dancing Bears pulled out a win 94-57. Most fans forgot to get their popcorn ready for this one, but that didn’t matter for Dancing Bears, as TO put up 31 points. King Cobra suffered from bye week blunders this past week, having stars Antonio Gates, Frank Gore, and Randy Moss all on bye. Things are looking bright however, as Vincent Jackson will be playing in just a few weeks. Watch out for this Cobra team come playoff time.
D-Money (6-3) vs 3 &Out (4-5)
In a close matchup D-Money made some great starts to pull out a 90-85 victory this past week. How do you expect to start Randy McMichael and win? Well, D-Money did and it paid off (everyone is thinking wow right now). The tight end came up with a big 14 fantasy points to go along with Aaron Rodgers 3 touchdowns. It doesn’t seem that 3 & Out wanted to get the win this week, starting Michael Bush at running back and possibly costing his team the win.
NJ Hollywood League - Week #9
by Colin Thompson
The Situation vs. The Mudmonkies
In a battle of division leaders The Situation fist pumped to this third consecutive victory
while handing The Mudmonkies his first loss of the season. The Situation’s ground
game proved to be too strong as Arian Foster and Michael Turner had spectacular days
scoring 31 and 22 points respectively. Meanwhile The Mudmonkies was let down by his
running back tandem of Benjarvus Green-Ellis and Marshawn Lynch who only managed
5 points combined between the two of them. Both teams however still are in the driver’s
seat of their respective divisions.
The Usual Suspects vs. Blade Runners
Sometimes one man can carry a whole team on his back and last week was evidence
of that as Peyton Hillis powered The Usual Suspects to a 16 point victory over the Blade
Runners. Hillis’s 31 points were 13 more than anyone on the Blade Runners team and
11 more than anyone on his own. Blade Runners had a few nice performances but was
really let down by the 1 point effort from Miles Austin who is supposed to be his stud
wide receiver. The Usual Suspects is now on a roll having won 3 games in a row while
both men sit at 5-4 and right in the thick of the playoff race.
The Beerlympians vs. Roger
The Beerlympians was handed an easy victory last week against Roger who continues
to leave Dallas Clark in his lineup despite being out for the season. Vince Young was
also left in the starting lineup while on a bye and Carson Palmer remained on the
bench wasting his 18 point night. It probably wouldn’t have mattered much anyway as
The Beerlympians had 5 players score double digit fantasy points headlined by the
electrifying Michael Vick who led the team with 26.
Albert is My Homeboy vs. Captain No Nads
In a matchup that featured a large number of bench players, Albert is My Homeboy was
able to defeat Captain No Nads 80 to 52. Captain No Nads had to take a gamble on
Marcel Reese at running back this week and it didn’t pay off as Reese did not manage
to get any points. Also stud receiver Roddy White’s injury limited him to just 4 points
in what was a rather disappointing day all around for Captain No Nads. Albert is My
Homeboy didn’t do a whole lot to win last week but they did enough. Aaron Hernandez
found the end zone twice to power his team to victory.
Big City Boozers vs Shoelace
In the closest game of the week Big City Boozers edged Shoelace 110 to 105. Both
teams had some high scorers last week, Shoelace with their 26 points from Eli Manning
and 20 from Ahmad Bradshaw and Big City Boozers with Mark Sanchez scoring 23 and
Adrian Peterson getting 26. The biggest mistake in this matchup however was Shoelace
benching Dez Bryant who managed 14 points while Johnny Knox who started was only
able to score 4.
7.0 vs Baba Booey
Baba Booey was victimized by one of those weeks in week 9. They have outstanding
players at each position but were blown out by 7.0 114 to 45. This was the most
lopsided matchup of the week and Baba Booey had their lowest point total of the entire
season. Not a single player on their team managed to score double digit fantasy points.
Meanwhile 7.0 got 30 points from Aaron Rodgers and 27 from the Green Bay defense
which was more than enough to win this week.
The Situation vs. The Mudmonkies
In a battle of division leaders The Situation fist pumped to this third consecutive victory
while handing The Mudmonkies his first loss of the season. The Situation’s ground
game proved to be too strong as Arian Foster and Michael Turner had spectacular days
scoring 31 and 22 points respectively. Meanwhile The Mudmonkies was let down by his
running back tandem of Benjarvus Green-Ellis and Marshawn Lynch who only managed
5 points combined between the two of them. Both teams however still are in the driver’s
seat of their respective divisions.
The Usual Suspects vs. Blade Runners
Sometimes one man can carry a whole team on his back and last week was evidence
of that as Peyton Hillis powered The Usual Suspects to a 16 point victory over the Blade
Runners. Hillis’s 31 points were 13 more than anyone on the Blade Runners team and
11 more than anyone on his own. Blade Runners had a few nice performances but was
really let down by the 1 point effort from Miles Austin who is supposed to be his stud
wide receiver. The Usual Suspects is now on a roll having won 3 games in a row while
both men sit at 5-4 and right in the thick of the playoff race.
The Beerlympians vs. Roger
The Beerlympians was handed an easy victory last week against Roger who continues
to leave Dallas Clark in his lineup despite being out for the season. Vince Young was
also left in the starting lineup while on a bye and Carson Palmer remained on the
bench wasting his 18 point night. It probably wouldn’t have mattered much anyway as
The Beerlympians had 5 players score double digit fantasy points headlined by the
electrifying Michael Vick who led the team with 26.
Albert is My Homeboy vs. Captain No Nads
In a matchup that featured a large number of bench players, Albert is My Homeboy was
able to defeat Captain No Nads 80 to 52. Captain No Nads had to take a gamble on
Marcel Reese at running back this week and it didn’t pay off as Reese did not manage
to get any points. Also stud receiver Roddy White’s injury limited him to just 4 points
in what was a rather disappointing day all around for Captain No Nads. Albert is My
Homeboy didn’t do a whole lot to win last week but they did enough. Aaron Hernandez
found the end zone twice to power his team to victory.
Big City Boozers vs Shoelace
In the closest game of the week Big City Boozers edged Shoelace 110 to 105. Both
teams had some high scorers last week, Shoelace with their 26 points from Eli Manning
and 20 from Ahmad Bradshaw and Big City Boozers with Mark Sanchez scoring 23 and
Adrian Peterson getting 26. The biggest mistake in this matchup however was Shoelace
benching Dez Bryant who managed 14 points while Johnny Knox who started was only
able to score 4.
7.0 vs Baba Booey
Baba Booey was victimized by one of those weeks in week 9. They have outstanding
players at each position but were blown out by 7.0 114 to 45. This was the most
lopsided matchup of the week and Baba Booey had their lowest point total of the entire
season. Not a single player on their team managed to score double digit fantasy points.
Meanwhile 7.0 got 30 points from Aaron Rodgers and 27 from the Green Bay defense
which was more than enough to win this week.
Week 9 Recaps: Elks Den
by Sam Spiegelman
1. Green Death (682.78)
A slower week for Green Death allowed FIRE AND ICE to creep up on the top spot. The continued dominant of Arian Foster, however, allowed the team to hold on to first place. Perhaps it was an aberration – Big Ben was slowed down by a Cincy defense playing tough at home, and The Law Firm was bound to get shut down eventually. It is hard to find a reason to have benched D-Jax; regardless of having been concussed two weeks earlier, you had to expect he would still make plays.
A slower week for Green Death allowed FIRE AND ICE to creep up on the top spot. The continued dominant of Arian Foster, however, allowed the team to hold on to first place. Perhaps it was an aberration – Big Ben was slowed down by a Cincy defense playing tough at home, and The Law Firm was bound to get shut down eventually. It is hard to find a reason to have benched D-Jax; regardless of having been concussed two weeks earlier, you had to expect he would still make plays.
2. FIRE AND ICE (682.29)
Now, with less than a point separating FIRE AND ICE from first place, the team is ready to make moves. His team is gelling together well – Drew Brees is heating up, Rashard Mendenhall is a beast, Tom Brady only throws to Aaron Hernandez and even Willis McGahee is getting in the end-zone (nice start, just sayin’). I would like to see Pierre Garcon in the lineup Sunday to replace Austin Collies – Peyton Manning will make any receiver a strong fantasy option. And I would watch the status of Joseph Addai; Javarris James may have a chance for nabbing a score or two.
Now, with less than a point separating FIRE AND ICE from first place, the team is ready to make moves. His team is gelling together well – Drew Brees is heating up, Rashard Mendenhall is a beast, Tom Brady only throws to Aaron Hernandez and even Willis McGahee is getting in the end-zone (nice start, just sayin’). I would like to see Pierre Garcon in the lineup Sunday to replace Austin Collies – Peyton Manning will make any receiver a strong fantasy option. And I would watch the status of Joseph Addai; Javarris James may have a chance for nabbing a score or two.
3. Balco!! (665.61)
Philip Rivers is making this team look good, but you have to hand it to All Day and T.O. were playing a very good role as Robin. Despite being in third place, there is a concern about the depth on your team. Steve Smith and Sidney Rice may be good options, but I do believe Steve Slaton and Darren Sproles are borderline backs; you may want to pounce on a better player if they become available. On Sunday Brett will get Da Bears; he may fill in adequately for Rivers.
Philip Rivers is making this team look good, but you have to hand it to All Day and T.O. were playing a very good role as Robin. Despite being in third place, there is a concern about the depth on your team. Steve Smith and Sidney Rice may be good options, but I do believe Steve Slaton and Darren Sproles are borderline backs; you may want to pounce on a better player if they become available. On Sunday Brett will get Da Bears; he may fill in adequately for Rivers.
4. Wonder Twins (664.90)
Wonder Twins made all of the right decisions – Peyton “running up” Hillis over Queen Felix, Michael Vick over Matthew Stafford “infection”. Still, the 91 points scored was just enough to hold on to the top spot. What’s encouraging is the production without Frank Gore, but the futility at the tight end spot. Kellen Winslow has done better with worse quarterbacks, but somehow cannot develop a rhythm with Josh Freeman in Tampa; with crazy-armed Shaun Hill stepping in for Detroit, Brandon Pettigrew may be the superior option.
Wonder Twins made all of the right decisions – Peyton “running up” Hillis over Queen Felix, Michael Vick over Matthew Stafford “infection”. Still, the 91 points scored was just enough to hold on to the top spot. What’s encouraging is the production without Frank Gore, but the futility at the tight end spot. Kellen Winslow has done better with worse quarterbacks, but somehow cannot develop a rhythm with Josh Freeman in Tampa; with crazy-armed Shaun Hill stepping in for Detroit, Brandon Pettigrew may be the superior option.
5. UwannaPieceOme (664.21)
If there is a chance to start making moves, it is now. Your team has star power – Peyton Manning, Andre the Giant, Mike Wallace, Antonio Gates; hell, even Brandon Jackson is becoming your most reliable running back. I am unsure if Stone Cold Miles Austin is going to help this team contend down the stretch, so you may want to get what you can for his name value and try to find a better running back if Beanie Wells continues to struggle. Another thing to look out for: how Clinton Portis does in his return.
If there is a chance to start making moves, it is now. Your team has star power – Peyton Manning, Andre the Giant, Mike Wallace, Antonio Gates; hell, even Brandon Jackson is becoming your most reliable running back. I am unsure if Stone Cold Miles Austin is going to help this team contend down the stretch, so you may want to get what you can for his name value and try to find a better running back if Beanie Wells continues to struggle. Another thing to look out for: how Clinton Portis does in his return.
6. TACO’S AL VAPOR (606.56)
It is getting later in the season, and in sixth place you may be the last chance to earn a top spot in the league. Matt Schaub has been stumped as of late, but I do not think you can substitute his potential with Joe Flacco or even Kyle Orton, regardless of what he has done in the past. I love Danny Woodhead as a player, but not as a fantasy option; I think you may have to rely more on Jahvid Best. But I am not sure this team has the firepower to make a run.
It is getting later in the season, and in sixth place you may be the last chance to earn a top spot in the league. Matt Schaub has been stumped as of late, but I do not think you can substitute his potential with Joe Flacco or even Kyle Orton, regardless of what he has done in the past. I love Danny Woodhead as a player, but not as a fantasy option; I think you may have to rely more on Jahvid Best. But I am not sure this team has the firepower to make a run.
7. Where’s the food? (573.08)
This team has plenty of big names – LT, Jason Witten, Randy Moss, Tom Brady, Matt “I’m a man, I’m” Forte; but the production is simply not there. Moss’s month-long vacation in Minnesota cost your team, and so did his departure from the Pats – they simply have not had the same passing attack, which has damaged the production of both Brady and Wes Welker. Forte has showed signs of brilliance at times, but for the most part he has continued to disappoint. And despite LT’s impressive 2010 campaign, I do not think it is enough to make up this amount of ground in the next few weeks.
This team has plenty of big names – LT, Jason Witten, Randy Moss, Tom Brady, Matt “I’m a man, I’m” Forte; but the production is simply not there. Moss’s month-long vacation in Minnesota cost your team, and so did his departure from the Pats – they simply have not had the same passing attack, which has damaged the production of both Brady and Wes Welker. Forte has showed signs of brilliance at times, but for the most part he has continued to disappoint. And despite LT’s impressive 2010 campaign, I do not think it is enough to make up this amount of ground in the next few weeks.
8. Bogimeisters (559.53)
I am a Josh Freeman fan, but when you resort to the Tampa Bay Bucs quarterback to try and lead your fantasy team you should know the season is all but over. Then again, it did not help to have Megatron get stranded on Revis Island, or Jeremy Maclin to have a sub-par afternoon against Indy, or that you went ahead and started Zach Miller when he was chilling out on the sidelines. It looks like you have already thrown in the towel.
I am a Josh Freeman fan, but when you resort to the Tampa Bay Bucs quarterback to try and lead your fantasy team you should know the season is all but over. Then again, it did not help to have Megatron get stranded on Revis Island, or Jeremy Maclin to have a sub-par afternoon against Indy, or that you went ahead and started Zach Miller when he was chilling out on the sidelines. It looks like you have already thrown in the towel.
9. Bad News Barristers (558. 05)
There was a lot of potential – Matty Ice and the Burner to feast on the Bucs, Run DMC getting an opportunity to wreak havoc on the Chiefs and Dustin Keller ready to rain on the Lions’ parade. However, just under 69 points is not going to get the job done. When Patrick Crayton is your WR2, you know your team is lacking in the talent department.
There was a lot of potential – Matty Ice and the Burner to feast on the Bucs, Run DMC getting an opportunity to wreak havoc on the Chiefs and Dustin Keller ready to rain on the Lions’ parade. However, just under 69 points is not going to get the job done. When Patrick Crayton is your WR2, you know your team is lacking in the talent department.
10. The Shooukation (555.27)
It is sad – Eli Manning has become your team’s best player, with second place belonging to Chester Taylor. Disappointing afternoons on the part of The Marshall Plan and Roddy White did not help, but expectations could not have been too high with DeAngelo Williams sidelined, and Knowshon Moreno and Steven Jackson off on a bye week. With over 100 points out of really having a say in this league, it looks like a real “situation.”
It is sad – Eli Manning has become your team’s best player, with second place belonging to Chester Taylor. Disappointing afternoons on the part of The Marshall Plan and Roddy White did not help, but expectations could not have been too high with DeAngelo Williams sidelined, and Knowshon Moreno and Steven Jackson off on a bye week. With over 100 points out of really having a say in this league, it looks like a real “situation.”
11. 4th and 20 (554.2)
It is so disheartening see all this talent go to waste, as 4th and 20 seems like the appropriate name for the poor production of this team. Fantasy studs like A-Rodge, Braylon Edwards, Reggie Wayne, Vernon Davis – you just have to wonder where it all went wrong. While the team is loaded at the quarterback and receiver positions, it is clearly lacking in the running back departments. Dexter McCluster is a playmaker in reality, but not so much in fantasy. Perhaps Reggie Bush could have made a difference in the season – it’s debatable. Better luck in the draft next year.
It is so disheartening see all this talent go to waste, as 4th and 20 seems like the appropriate name for the poor production of this team. Fantasy studs like A-Rodge, Braylon Edwards, Reggie Wayne, Vernon Davis – you just have to wonder where it all went wrong. While the team is loaded at the quarterback and receiver positions, it is clearly lacking in the running back departments. Dexter McCluster is a playmaker in reality, but not so much in fantasy. Perhaps Reggie Bush could have made a difference in the season – it’s debatable. Better luck in the draft next year.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
FiOS Football – Week #9
By Paul Pearson
Scarlet Pack vs. Big O.
Peyton Hillis made mincemeat of the New England Patriots defense on Sunday, and his two touchdowns and 40 points made the Pack winners over the Big Os by a score of 147-128. The Pack also got 26 points from the New Orleans Saints defense/special teams, 22 from Brandon Jackson and 21 from Greg Jennings. The Big Os put up a big fight, getting a team-high 39 points from Arian Foster. They also got lots of points Monday night, including 38 from Terrell Owens and 13 from the Pittsburgh Steelers defense/special teams. But the Big Os’ fate was sealed when Steve Johnson was left on the bench. He scored 27 points in yet another valiant but losing effort for the Buffalo Bills, while Andre Johnson scored only 8 in the starting lineup.
Bringers of Awesome vs. Lovely & Talented.
The Talented showed off all their talents in a 133-94 beating of the Bringers. Eli Manning, orchestrating a humiliation of the Seattle Seahawks, led the way for the Talented with three touchdowns and 35 points. Many of those points came from completions to Hakeem Nicks, who generated 26 points of his own for the Talented. And Jacob Tamme, making the most of the opportunity presented by Dallas Clark’s season-ending wrist injury, scored 29 points. Meanwhile, Joe Flacco acquitted himself well by scoring a team-high 30 points for the Bringers, and Dwayne Bowe racked up 17. But the Bringers could not afford the goose egg they got from Zach Miller or the single point they got from the now-out-for-the-season Stephen Gostkowski.
Ninja Stars vs. Ann-Tics.
A well-balanced attack helped the Tics defeat the Stars by a score of 115-95. Adrian Peterson crossed the goal line twice and scored a team-leading 32 points for the Tics. LaDainian Tomlinson was kept out of the end zone but still scored 18. The lowest-scoring starter for the Tics was Hines Ward, who put up 7 points on Monday night after the matter was already settled. The Stars did get 22 points from a pair of players (Matt Cassel and Percy Harvin), and six of their eight starters reached double digits. But Justin Forsett managed to score only 1 point, and Lee Evans put up only 6.
WiFis and Bigger GBs vs. P Funk Tribe.
Josh Reed nearly led a comeback for the Tribe on Monday, but his 12 points were just not enough as the GBs escaped with a 95-94 win. Aaron Rodgers led the Tribe with an eye-popping 41 points, but Ricky Williams’ inability to score a single digit proved fatal, especially when you consider the 15 points that Cedric Benson scored while stuck on the Tribe’s bench. And Steve Smith (Carolina edition) got only a single point, which he may not be able to match in future weeks if the Carolina Panthers quarterback situation gets any worse. The GBs, on the other hand, had a well-balanced offense. Five of their starters crossed the 10-point threshold, including Mark Sanchez with a team-high 28 points and Ronnie Brown with 20.
To the victor go the spoils vs. Scarlet Eagles.
Chad Ochocinco may have been unhappy with his lack of targets on Monday night against the Pittsburgh Steelers, but the Eagles have to be happy he stayed focused enough to make a pair of catches and score 2 points. Those points made all the difference in the Eagles’ 118-117 victory over the Spoils. Three Eagles surpassed 20 points: Ray Rice with a team-leading 29, Ahmad Bradshaw with 25 and Matt Ryan with 23. The Spoils made a late charge with 24 points from Rashard Mendenhall and 16 from Ben Roethlisberger. And DeSean Jackson announced his recovery from a concussion by scoring a team-leading 27 points for the Spoils. In fact, their lowest-scoring starters put up 7 points each (Brandon Jacobs, Jeremy Shockey and the Atlanta Falcons defense/special teams).
Pussy Galore and her Abrocats vs. Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes II.
Most weeks, a fantasy football team that gets donuts from two starters is sure to lose the game. But the Abrocats shook off the zeros from Donald Driver and the bye-week Rob Bironas to beat the Shoes by a score of 101-65. The Abrocats even survived a 1-point total from Michael Bush. In this game, the defense/special teams was the determining factor. The Green Bay Packers accumulated a team-high 27 for the Abrocats, while the Dallas Cowboys posted a minus-11 (that’s right; 11 points below 0) for the Shoes in an effort that finally got Wade Phillips canned. For the record, Michael Turner led the Shoes with 24 points, followed by Mike Williams (Tampa Bay edition) with 18.
NM Agency vs. Suckawoodz.
The San Diego Chargers special teams may still stink, but Philip Rivers doesn’t. He threw for four touchdowns and scored 40 points for the Woodz in their 95-88 win over the Agency. After Rivers, the top performer for the Woodz was Steve Smith (New York Giants edition), who scored a grand total of 14 points. Drew Brees found the end zone twice and scored a team-leading 25 points for the Agency. Jamaal Charles contributed to the Agency cause with 17 points. But Jonathan Stewart made the least of his opportunity. He fumbled the ball before leaving the game with a concussion and no fantasy points whatsoever.
1st and 10 - Week 9
by Chris Ryan
Stormtroopers
QB Matt Ryan paced the team with 23.9 points, and Braylon Edwards was excellent in accumulating 17 points, but it was Dez Bryant's garbage time points on Sunday night that proved to be the difference maker for the Stormtroopers against Mauer. Cedric Benson made it close on Monday night with 14.4 points, but the Stormtroopers escaped with a 121 to 117.1 victory. They weren't so lucky against the juggernaut that is the NSL Dynasty. In a matchup between the top two teams in the league, the Dynasty cruised to a very comfortable 44 point win.
Mauer
With Cedric Benson still to play, Mauer was trailing the Stormtroopers by 18 points, and The BUZZZ by 20 heading into Monday Night. Neither opponent had anyone left, but unfortunately for Mauer, Benson was only able to manage 14.4 points, leading to two losses and dropping them into last place in the league. Joe Flacco continued his strong play with 26.3 yards, and Visanthe Shiancoe chipped in 18.2, but if Mauer had only found a way to get Santonio Holmes and his 21.1 points into the lineup (perhaps in place of Steve Smith), they would have come away from Week 9 with two wins instead of two defeats.
Witz
Witz was the top dog in Week 9. Totaling 167.4 points, they led all teams in scoring and dispatched of the Gator Champs and NSL Dynasty to move within a game of second place. It was a top-heavy from Witz, with Michael Vick and Arian Foster combining for 75 points, but Marques Colston, Mike Wallace, Reggie Wayne, Greg Olsen, and the Giants defense all scored in double-figures. Beanie Wells was a total bummer, registering minus two rushing yards, but it didn't matter in the 23 point win over Gator Champs. The game against NSL Dynasty was considerable closer, as the outcome was eventually decided on MNF when Antwan Randle El threw a touchdown pass to Mike Wallace, giving Witz a two-point victory over the top team in the league.
NSL Dynasty
The late-night two point loss to Witz definitely stung, but the Dynasty has nothing to be frustrated about. They were the league's second highest scoring team in Week 9, thanks primarily to Aaron Rodgers (39.4), Hakeem Nicks (29.3) and Michael Turner (25.7). They easily defeated their closest rival in the standings, Stormtroopers, by a wide margin and currently sit in first place with a two game lead.
Gator Champs
Fighting for their playoff lives, Gator Champs posted 144 points, splitting their matchups against Witz and Alphabet. Brandon Jackson, Peyton Manning, Dwayne Bowe and Larry Fitzgerald all scored between 16 and 20 points, but the main reason for the healthy total was the 37 points by Green Bay Packers defense. Ronnie Brown had a productive day on the bench, but even if he had been started over LeGarrette Blount, it wouldn't have changed the outcome.
Alphabet
Philip Rivers and Ray Rice combined for 61 points, but the rest of Alphabet's roster was a major disappointment. Only the Steelers defense scored more than eight points, with Pierre Garcon (3) and Ryan Mathews (5) proving to be especially ineffective. Luckily their 104.4 points only led to one loss, as Alphabet, currently two games out second place, met up with a BYE in their other matchup.
Stugots
Stugots, tied with Witz and The BUZZZ for third place, also met up with a BYE in Week 9. They faced the lifeless Liveness in their other matchup, and easily cruised to a 149.8 to 101.7 victory. Rashard Mendenhall was the high-point man with 24.5, while Tom Brady (23.8), Greg Jennings (19.2), and Aaron Hernandez (23) all made strong contributions. Not that it would have mattered, but Peyton Hillis (38.5) and Steve Johnson (28.7) were on the bench for this one.
Liveness
Other than Eli Manning's 34.8 points, it was an unproductive week for the members of Liveness. Finishing with just 101.7 points, Liveness fell to The BUZZZ by 21 and Stugots by much more. Percy Harvin and his 20.3 were benched, but even if he would have been started in place of Lee Evans, nothing would have changed. Liveness now finds themselves five games out of first and in sixth place.
The BUZZZ
The Colts/Eagles game was very, very, productive for The BUZZZ. Jacob Tamme freaked out to the tune of 33.5 points, and DeSean Jackson made a triumphant return with 30.1 points. Drew Brees was the only other player above 13 points, but matched up against Liveness and Mauer, it didn't matter -- The BUZZZ came away with two wins, and moved into a tie for third place in the league.
Stormtroopers
QB Matt Ryan paced the team with 23.9 points, and Braylon Edwards was excellent in accumulating 17 points, but it was Dez Bryant's garbage time points on Sunday night that proved to be the difference maker for the Stormtroopers against Mauer. Cedric Benson made it close on Monday night with 14.4 points, but the Stormtroopers escaped with a 121 to 117.1 victory. They weren't so lucky against the juggernaut that is the NSL Dynasty. In a matchup between the top two teams in the league, the Dynasty cruised to a very comfortable 44 point win.
Mauer
With Cedric Benson still to play, Mauer was trailing the Stormtroopers by 18 points, and The BUZZZ by 20 heading into Monday Night. Neither opponent had anyone left, but unfortunately for Mauer, Benson was only able to manage 14.4 points, leading to two losses and dropping them into last place in the league. Joe Flacco continued his strong play with 26.3 yards, and Visanthe Shiancoe chipped in 18.2, but if Mauer had only found a way to get Santonio Holmes and his 21.1 points into the lineup (perhaps in place of Steve Smith), they would have come away from Week 9 with two wins instead of two defeats.
Witz
Witz was the top dog in Week 9. Totaling 167.4 points, they led all teams in scoring and dispatched of the Gator Champs and NSL Dynasty to move within a game of second place. It was a top-heavy from Witz, with Michael Vick and Arian Foster combining for 75 points, but Marques Colston, Mike Wallace, Reggie Wayne, Greg Olsen, and the Giants defense all scored in double-figures. Beanie Wells was a total bummer, registering minus two rushing yards, but it didn't matter in the 23 point win over Gator Champs. The game against NSL Dynasty was considerable closer, as the outcome was eventually decided on MNF when Antwan Randle El threw a touchdown pass to Mike Wallace, giving Witz a two-point victory over the top team in the league.
NSL Dynasty
The late-night two point loss to Witz definitely stung, but the Dynasty has nothing to be frustrated about. They were the league's second highest scoring team in Week 9, thanks primarily to Aaron Rodgers (39.4), Hakeem Nicks (29.3) and Michael Turner (25.7). They easily defeated their closest rival in the standings, Stormtroopers, by a wide margin and currently sit in first place with a two game lead.
Gator Champs
Fighting for their playoff lives, Gator Champs posted 144 points, splitting their matchups against Witz and Alphabet. Brandon Jackson, Peyton Manning, Dwayne Bowe and Larry Fitzgerald all scored between 16 and 20 points, but the main reason for the healthy total was the 37 points by Green Bay Packers defense. Ronnie Brown had a productive day on the bench, but even if he had been started over LeGarrette Blount, it wouldn't have changed the outcome.
Alphabet
Philip Rivers and Ray Rice combined for 61 points, but the rest of Alphabet's roster was a major disappointment. Only the Steelers defense scored more than eight points, with Pierre Garcon (3) and Ryan Mathews (5) proving to be especially ineffective. Luckily their 104.4 points only led to one loss, as Alphabet, currently two games out second place, met up with a BYE in their other matchup.
Stugots
Stugots, tied with Witz and The BUZZZ for third place, also met up with a BYE in Week 9. They faced the lifeless Liveness in their other matchup, and easily cruised to a 149.8 to 101.7 victory. Rashard Mendenhall was the high-point man with 24.5, while Tom Brady (23.8), Greg Jennings (19.2), and Aaron Hernandez (23) all made strong contributions. Not that it would have mattered, but Peyton Hillis (38.5) and Steve Johnson (28.7) were on the bench for this one.
Liveness
Other than Eli Manning's 34.8 points, it was an unproductive week for the members of Liveness. Finishing with just 101.7 points, Liveness fell to The BUZZZ by 21 and Stugots by much more. Percy Harvin and his 20.3 were benched, but even if he would have been started in place of Lee Evans, nothing would have changed. Liveness now finds themselves five games out of first and in sixth place.
The BUZZZ
The Colts/Eagles game was very, very, productive for The BUZZZ. Jacob Tamme freaked out to the tune of 33.5 points, and DeSean Jackson made a triumphant return with 30.1 points. Drew Brees was the only other player above 13 points, but matched up against Liveness and Mauer, it didn't matter -- The BUZZZ came away with two wins, and moved into a tie for third place in the league.
Alabama Crab Danglers – Week 9
By Paul Pearson
The Chicken Cutlet vs. Wisco Wormburpers.
This just in: Peyton Hillis is a beast. Cleveland’s new favorite runner rampaged over the New England Patriots, scoring 35 points and leading the Cutlets to a 119.7-99.95 victory over the Wormburpers. Michael Vick returned to the starting lineup and generated 29.3 points for the Cutlets, while Michael Turner continued his solid season by scoring 22.7. The Wormburpers got the usual yeoman’s effort from Adrian Peterson, who scored a team-high 26.4 points. They also got 21.8 points from Hakeem Nicks in the New York Giants’ crushing of the Seattle Seahawks. But other Wormburpers came up short. Miles Austin, a part of the Dallas Cowboys meltdown Sunday night, scored only 1.6 points, and the Patriots defense/special teams, who never really knew what hit them Sunday, scored only 1.
I Piss Excellence vs. Double Deuce.
Philip Rivers led all starters in this matchup with 32.05, but that was not enough to save the Excellence from losing to the Deuces by a score of 89.7-80.05. Rashard Mendenhall put up 19 points in Pittsburgh’s Monday night victory over the Cincinnati Bengals, but no other Excellence starter reached double digits. In fact, the Seattle Seahawks defense/special teams hurt the Excellence cause with a minus-2-point score. Jacob Tamme, filling in for the injured-and-out-for-the-season Dallas Clark, led the Deuces with 19.8 points. He was one of five Deuce starters who cleared the 10-point threshold, including Cedric Benson (13.4) and Matt Schaub (11.4). The lowest Deuce scorer was Dan Carpenter (4 points), who still managed to outscore three Excellence starters.
Websters Dicktionary vs. Kosher Catfish.
Even if you took away Arian Foster’s team-leading 34.7 points, the Dicktionaries would have had enough to beat the Catfish, who fell by a score of 116.55-70.8. That’s because the Dicktionaries had two other players clear the 20-point mark: Ahmad Bradshaw (21.2) and Drew Brees (20.65). The Catfish got 21.3 points from Tom Brady in a losing effort against the Cleveland Browns. But the only other Catfish starter to reach double digits was Visanthe Shiancoe (12.6). Stephen Gostkowski scored only 1 point before leaving his game with a quad injury. And Beanie Wells would have been better off taking the week off. He carried the ball only once, left the game with a bad knee and wound up with a score of minus-0.2.
Nerfherders vs. Lt. Blumpkin.
What do “60 Minutes” and the Nerfherders have in common? Both owe a debt of gratitude to someone named Mike Wallace. The Pittsburgh Steelers version of Wallace scored 20 points Monday night to help the Nerfherders erase a deficit and beat the Blumpkins by a score of 118.7-107.4. Both teams were led by New York quarterbacks; Mark Sanchez of the Jets scored 28.9 points for the Nerfherders, and Eli Manning of the Giants put up 29.4 for the Blumpkins. Both teams also got goose eggs from the tight ends (the forgotten Brent Celek for the Nerfherders and the inactivated Antonio Gates for the Blumpkins). Seven Nerfherders reached double digits, while five did so for the Blumpkins, including the once-again-healthy-and-a-threat DeSean Jackson with 21.9 points.
Casual Sacks vs. The 40 Yr Old Viking.
Somebody should make sure the Viking gets a copy of the NFL schedule, along with a copy of the league’s injury report. The Viking left two bye-week players (Laurence Maroney and Mike Sims-Walker) and a player on the injured reserve list (Dallas Clark) in the starting lineup, leading to an easy 132.75-67.6 win for the Sacks. The Viking did get double-digit performances from four other starters, including the Green Bay Packers defense/special teams with 28 points in a thrashing of the Dallas Cowboys. But the Sacks were too strong. Aaron Rodgers led the way with 33.55 points, followed by Terrell Owens with 29.1 and the New Orleans Saints defense/special teams with 21. The only real misfire for the Sacks was starting Felix Jones, who mustered only 1.6 points.
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