By Paul Pearson
Happy Ending Boy.
A pair of relatively accurate quarterbacks helped the Boys score 111 points and hold on to the top spot in the league. Matt Ryan threw for three touchdowns, completed a two-point conversion and scored a team-leading 25 points. The other starting quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, found the end zone twice and put up 18 points. Knowshon Moreno added 20 points of his own, and the Kansas City Chiefs defense/special teams contributed 17. The biggest blemish was a donut from the untargeted Roy E. Williams.
Necessary Roughness.
There are good days to be a receiver, and then there are days like the one Roddy White had Sunday. Despite losing a fumble, White caught two touchdowns and a two-point conversion and scored 44 points to help the Roughness amass 174 points (the highest score by any team this week) and rise one spot in the league standings, to 2nd place. In all, the Roughness got double-digit points from eight players, including Ben Roethlisberger (22), Dwayne Bowe (21) and Drew Brees (20). Jonathan Stewart wasn’t quite as fortunate; he got only 2 points.
Chunga’s Revenge.
Eli Manning’s 25-point Monday night wasn’t enough to keep the Revenge from slipping a spot in the league rankings, to 3rd place. Philip Rivers added 17 points, and Mike Williams of the Seattle Seahawks contributed 14 to the Revenge, who ended up with a total score of only 112. Five starters were held to single digits, including the fumbling Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers with 3. But the biggest disappointment on this squad has to be the New Orleans Saints defense/special teams, who put up only 1 point and allowed the longest run by a punter since the AFL-NFL merger.
Aging Alcoholics.
Peter Griffin and the boys should probably send Darren McFadden a nice basket of fruit. McFadden’s four touchdowns and 47 points fueled a 158-point performance that helped the Alcoholics climb three spots in the standings, to 4th place. Kerry Collins, filling in for the injured Vince Young, threw for three touchdowns and contributed 21 points to the Alcoholics total. Miles Austin, one of the victims of Tony Romo’s collarbone fracture, had the lowest point total (3), and the Alcoholics wasted a 14-point afternoon from Johnny Knox.
Joe Zujkowski.
If you like to start your morning with donuts, then you should have spent your Sunday with the Zujkowskis roster. Three starters (Javon Ringer, Donald Driver and Brent Celek) wound up with no points, but the Zujkowskis were able to stay in 5th place in the league with 105 points. The top scorer was Joe Flacco, who threw for three touchdowns and wound up with 21 points in an overtime victory over the Buffalo Bills. Marques Colston amassed 17 points in a losing effort against the Cleveland Browns, and Steve Smith of the New York Giants caught a touchdown Monday night en route to a 16-point total.
Sarge’s 13.
Eight of the 13’s starters were held to single digits, and the team paid a steep price for its 81-point week by falling two points in the league standings, to 6th place. Top scoring honors were shared by Jason Witten and David Akers with 15 points apiece. (Chad Henne scored the same amount but languished on the bench.) Brandon Jacobs lost a fumble but scored a touchdown in an 11-point effort. But the 13s were hindered by Jay Cutler’s five turnovers (and 7 points), Tony Romo’s broken collarbone (5 points) and Wes Welker’s virtual disappearance from the New England Patriots offense (2 points).
Napoleon.
One would guess the Napoleons would have started Kenny Britt if given a second chance. Britt’s three touchdowns and 56 points – no, that’s not a typo – did the now-7th-place Napoleons no good in a 106-point week that cost them a spot in the standings. The top starter was another receiver, Hakeem Nicks, who found the end zone twice and compiled 22 points. The Napoleons also got 13 points each from Greg Jennings and Vernon Davis. The lowest scorer among the starters was Robbie Gould, with 2 points. Chris Ivory and Danny Woodhead were held to 4 points apiece.
Team Ramrod.
Two quarterbacks led the way in a 141-point week that allowed the Ramrods to rise a spot in the league standings, to 8th place. Carson Palmer, losing a shootout to the Atlanta Falcons, threw for three touchdowns and scored a team-leading 39 points. Ryan Fitzpatrick wasn’t too far behind; he threw a stunning four touchdowns and scored an equally stunning 34 points against a Baltimore Ravens defense celebrating the return of Ed Reed. Tony Gonzalez was the low scorer with 2 points. Tim Hightower and DeAngelo Williams were held to 3 points each.
Green Geckos.
A 23-point Sunday night effort by Adrian Peterson could not keep the Geckos from dropping from 8th to 9th place in the league standings in a 117-point week. Other than All Day, the top performer for the Geckos was Hines Ward, with 22 points. The Chicago Bears defense/special teams added 19 points, but the Geckos were hurt by single-point afternoons from both Ryan Mathews and Benjamin Watson. In fact, no Gecko scored more than a single touchdown, and a 15-point performance by Brandon Jackson was wasted on the bench.
Green Gangsters.
Double-digit scores by seven starters did not lift the Gangsters out of the league cellar, but that might change if they can keep compiling scores like this week’s 137. The suddenly-a-fantasy-factor-again Michael Turner found the end zone twice and scored a team-leading 26 points. The Seattle Seahawks defense/special teams recovered four fumbles and added 18 points to the total. The least impressive performer was Michael Crabtree, who cobbled together only 3 points for a San Francisco 49ers team that now has to travel to London without Alex Smith.
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