Alabama Crab Danglers: And it was Down to Four

Alabama Crab Danglers: And it was Down to Four

By Sam Spiegelman

Websters Dicktionary Turns the Page on Casual Sacks

            Perhaps it was over before it could even. When Aaron Rodgers went down Sunday in Detroit, the Casual Sacks playoff matchup and season came to a screeching halt.

            Without the dynamic Rodgers at the helm, the quarterback position accumulated a mere 2.8 points instead of what Yahoo! predicted would have been nearly 27 against the lonesome Lions.

            But Rodgers is not the only culprit – Terrell Owens, Braylon Edwards, a combined 3.9 points. So much more was expected out of the Bengals star wide-out and Edwards, who both had favorable matchups last week. And at what a time – King Felix Jones had his season-best performance against Philly; what a shame.

            If Rodgers could have played through his injury, it may not have been enough to contend with the high-flying Websters Dicktionary, who scored over 113 points on the weekend. Led by double-digit efforts on the part of Drew Brees, Ahmad Bradshaw, Steven Jackson, Jason Witten and Arian Foster, the matchup looked one-sided.

            As Casual Sacks now crawls back into hibernation until the draft, it will Websters Dicktionary who draws a contest between the Alabama Crab Dangler’s best this weekend for a shot at the Super Bowl.

Kosher Catfish Survives High-Scoring Showdown

            A combined 222 points between the Kosher Catfish and The Chicken Cutlet, yet just 12 separated them from the opportunity to advance onto the second round of the playoffs. And on this weekend, advantage Kosher Catfish.

            The league’s best scoring total this week belonged to the Catfish, who got monster efforts out of Tommy Brady, Reggie Wayne and Chris Johnson, in conjunction with a unforeseen 20 points from Derrick Mason. The riley old vet had a Monday night to remember, and led the charge in a comeback victory.

            The Chicken Cutlet kept it close, largely due to the domination of Michael “The Burner” Turner and Michael Vick. The Burner rolled over Carolina, while Vick simply kept on keeping on. Aside from those two studs, a kicker and a defense, it would have been completely lopsided.

            The loss puts The Chicken Cutlet home for the holidays, watching football with no fantasy meaning. Following the upset, Kosher Catfish will look to keep the streak alive with the No. 2-seeded Double Deuce.

Preview: No. 1 Wormburpers vs. No. 4 Websters Dicktionary

            The bye week is always beneficial – a time to rest up for the big game on the horizon. And now that top-seeded Wisco Wormburpers have had the time to prepare, it is time to face off against the red-shot Websters Dicktionary.

            The favorite, the Wormburpers, will rely on the Matty Ice-Roddy White tandem against an all-or-nothing team, the Seattle Sea-Chickens. The matchup heavily favors the Falcons quarterback and wide-out tremendously.

            I also like Vincent Jackson against the Niners, as San Diego needs to win to keep their playoff push alive. The same goes for Hakeem “The Dream” against Philly. What I am not so sure about – Adrian Peterson. He faces a tough Bears defense, plus he has no quarterback healthy enough to stop the Monsters of the Midway from clouding the box.

            On the flip side, the upset-minded Websters Dicktionary will rely on Drew Brees to shoulder the load against the Ravens, who showed their vulnerability Monday night when Matt Schaub tore them a new one. I expect Mike Williams, Arian Foster and Steven Jackson to also come through with big-time performances.

            My prediction: Upset city, baby! So much depends on the Falcons’ passing attack on the road, and the best player, AP, gets a tough matchup. With Brees, a solid backfield and the playmaker Williams due for a big game, my bet is on Websters Dicktionary.

Preview: No. 2 Double Deuce vs. No. 6 Kosher Catfish

            A No. 6 seed versus a No. 2 – looks like a mismatch, right? Come Sunday though, it is all on the line when Cinderella story Kosher Catfish takes on Double Deuce for a trip to the Super Bowl.

            With a week off to collect their thoughts, Double Deuce will sport a lineup of favorable matchups. The duo of Schaub and Andre “The Giant” Johnson against Tennessee is much in their favor, and which, by the way, will feature a re-match of the infamous Johnson-Cortland Finnegan brawl.

            I also dig Knowshon Moreno’s increased touches in Denver and Malcolm Floyd’s chemistry with Philip Rivers. However, it might be a slower week for Shady McCoy.

            For the upset-minded Catfish, it should be another Tom Brady clinic on display Sunday night. The Pack should shut down the run and force Brady to beat them – I think he is up to the challenge. Reggie Wayne and Chris Johnson should both go bazerk in AFC South divisional matchups.

            My prediction: The clock may have struck midnight on this underdog story. If the Pats get up big, it may be the job of The Law Firm to control the clock. On the other side, Schaub should shoulder the load in Tennessee Sunday, and if Moreno can duplication what Maurice Jones-Drew did against Oakland it could get ugly.