Napoleon’s Minions: The Final Showdown

Napoleon’s Minions: The Final Showdown

By Sam Spiegelman

Lineup Decisions Haunt Ramrod

            Steve Smith, Eli Manning’s go-to guy on third downs, goes down with an injury. Next up on the depth chart – Mario Manningham. So in a crucial NFC East showdown, keep Manningham to the bench, right?

            The decision to bench Manningham in favor of Derrick Mason, who faced the top-ranked New Orleans pass defense Sunday, prompted Ramrod to miss out on Manningham’s 21 points, which would have been the difference in a 108-99 loss to Aging Alcoholics.

            For the Alcoholics, a monstrous effort by Matt “Stump the” Schaub and Megatron paved the way to victory for their team, each topping 20 points in their matchups. Although the margin of victory was just nine points, topping the century-mark despite subpar performances by Maurice Jones-Drew and Reggie Wayne has to be inspiring going into the final round of the playoffs.

            The win sets up a showdown with Green Geckos, who easily topped Joe Zujkowski 117-67, no thanks to JZ’s decision to start Kyle Orton, who was benched in favor of one Tim Tebow, and Anthony Fasano over Brent Celek, who had a 65-yard touchdown for Philly over the G-Men.

T.O. to Blame for Necessary Roughness’ Early Exit

            Oh, what could have been? In the high-flying contest between Chunga’s Revenge and Necessary Roughness, the combined 279 points scored featured a little bit of everything – domination, disappointment and even some “what ifs?”

            The victor, Chunga, received an unmatchable 51 combined points from Eli Manning and Philip Rivers, who ironically were drafted and traded for another in that memorable 2004 NFL Draft. Jamaal Charles returned to work with Matt Cassel behind the center, adding 20 points, while Megatron and V-Jax put forth 50 points of their own.

            On the other end, Necessary Roughness did their best to keep pace. Drew Brees and a mediocre Big Ben totaled 38 points, while Rashard Mendenhall and Ryan Torain managed an impressive 31 of their own. However, despite Roddy White’s team-leading 12 points, the other receivers – Over the Dwayne Bowe, Sidney Rice and T.O. combined for merely seven points.

            The win now puts Chunga’s Revenge in the final playoff contest with Sarge’s 13, who topped Happy Ending Boy 185-114 in a crazy high-scoring affair of their own. Meanwhile, Necessary Roughness can head back to fantasy irrelevance, no thanks to Owens.

Preview: Sarge’s 13 at Chunga’s Revenge

            These teams combined for 347 points last weekend, and should make for another outstanding game come Week 16. There is a lot of star power shining on both of these teams, so could this one come down a kicker?

            For Sarge, the favorable matchups include Jon Kitna getting the ‘Zona defense, Ray Rice running red-hot against the Browns and LeGarrette Blount at the comfort of home against running back-friendly Seattle. Receiving-wise, Jeremy Maclin gets a suspect Vikings secondary, Wes Welker against the Buffalo Bills and Jason Witten on the receiving end of Kitna’s passes.

            On the other side, Philip Rivers and Eli Manning will shoulder the offensive load for their teams as they make their playoff pushes. Chunga will hope V-Jax can replicate his Week 15 performance with Rivers against the woeful Cincy secondary, and that Chris Johnson can stay red hot at Arrowhead. Oh, and can Mike Wallace rebound against the porous Panthers defense?

            My prediction: these players are going to put up points, and they all have outstanding matchups. These teams can top last week’s scoring totals and it would not shock me. In terms of quarterbacks, I favor Chunga; running backs – Chunga and receivers – Chunga. I guess you know my prediction.