Revving the Playoff Engines: NJ-Hollywood League

Revving the Playoff Engines: NJ-Hollywood League

By Sam Spiegelman

7.0: We’ve got a Situation

            In what can only be viewed as a potential playoff clash between the top teams in the Black Division, The Situation and second-seeded Richter proved to be a one-sided affair.

            Despite salvaging an 87-point effort from a lineup consisting of scraps like Fred Jackson, Marcedes Lewis and Pierre Garcon, Richter was left in The Situation’s dust. Aaron Rodgers rebounded with a valiant second-half performance against the 49ers, scoring 29 on the afternoon, and S-Jax was able to run all over the Cardinals, as we all expected.

            The Situation hit his stride, though, scoring a league-best 122 points off a statement performance on the part of Tommy Brady, a crazy good game by Arian Foster and an unforeseen 16 points from one Robert Meachem.

            It did not hurt that the other two running backs, Matt “I’m a man, I’m” Forte and Michael “The Burner” Turner put up 15 and 14 points each, and the Steel Curtain added an 11 points to add insult to injury.

            The win showed clear superiority in the Black Division. Both teams sport an 8-5 record, but the head-to-head victory on the part of The Situation gives them the edge for this week’s upcoming playoff seeding.

Questionable Moves Send Baby Booey to the Playoffs

            With one spot needed to be filled before the playoffs commenced, Baby Booey sailed to an unimpressive 47-26 victory over Roger, a win largely credited due to negligence and desperation.

            In a move that can be argued looked as if he was getting straight cash for doing, Roger opted to start a cast of characters including Vince Young and Dallas Clark, both of whom have been out for the season for a considerable period of time. Other questionable moves included starting the injured Ryan Mathews and Ravens backup running back Willis McGahee at the starting running back slots. On the bench: Carson Palmer and Thomas Jones.

            Despite Roger’s attempt to throw the game, Baba Booey was able piece together 47 points, including double-digit efforts from Jay Cutler, who led the team with 13 points, and Megatron’s 12. Aside from their combined 25 points, the starting running back tandem of Donald Brown and Maurice Morris combined for a three-spot, while the tight end, WR2 and flex spot added another 12 points.

            It is games like this that shine a dark light on the greatest test of masculinity in the world – fantasy football. Baby Booey could not figure out to start Donald Driver or Matt “Stump the” Schaub; and he thought starting the Lions’ backup running back would be a smarter move than using starter Javhid “The” Best. On the other side, Roger made an obvious attempt to help a friend out by benching the few productive players he has on his roster, or showed an utter lack of integrity by not bothering to put together a full starting lineup. Give me a break.

Biggest Playoff Questions Heading into the First Round

Richter: Which three RBs should start in the playoffs? As long as they are all healthy, the threesome of Steven Jackson, Jonathon Stewart and Mike Tolbert will give you the best shot at winning. F-Jax had his game of the season; good for him, but not so good for his fantasy owners. Chris Ivory broke loose against Cincy with a whopping 23 points, but the Saints are a pass-dominant team, and although they try to incorporate their running backs as often as possible, they will rely on the right arm of Drew Brees. In other news, Reggie Bush is healthy and Pierre Thomas should be returning sooner than later; there is no telling what head coach Sean Payton will decide to do with Ivory.

Blade Runners: Which flex-player should get the nod in Week 14? Of the top five options – Rob Gronkowki, Wes Welker, Speedy Stevie Johnson, Braylon Edwards and LeGarrette Blount – they all present favorable matchups. With Gronkowski and Welker being an intricate part of the Pats passing attack, it may be smart to use Gronkowski at the tight end spot, but if you opt to start Welker you must acknowledge the Pats won’t score 45 a week. We have been waiting for Speedy Stevie to bounce back from his of trifecta of drops against the Steelers, but Cleveland is better on the defense than given credit for. The starters, in my view, are then Blount versus the Skins and Edwards against the ‘Fins. The Skins were torched by the G-Men backs last week, while Edwards has historically dominated the Miami secondary. Gronkowski at TE, Edwards at WR and Blount in the flex.

The Mudmonkies: Can you trust Kyle Orton at quarterback? Despite the departure of so-called offensive guru at the helm of the offense, I expect the interim head coach, who is also in charge of coaching the running backs, to find more balance in the offense. This, in turn, should allow defenses to try and stop Knowshon Moreno, therefore opening passing lanes for Orton. This week he gets the Cards – if he can’t beat them then let the benching begin.

Baba Booey: Who should I start Sundays? As evident by the recent 47-point performance from your playoff-bound team, allow me to introduce to your new and improved starting lineup: QB Matt “Stump the” Schaub, RB Javhid “The” Best, RB Donald Brown, WR Megatron, WR Donald Driver, TE Chris Cooley, FLEX The Marshall Plan (if healthy).