Revving the Playoff Engine: Czyk’s Revenge
By Sam Spiegelman
Eric vs. Hank, Champion Dwarf Tosser Win, Earn First-Round Byes
With a week off on the line, Eric vs. Hank made it a point of emphasis to take down Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye, securing him a sure-fire berth in the semifinals.
The off-night for Philip Rivers against the R-R-Raiders did not seem to haunt Eric vs. Hank, as the ground and bound game was relentless. Maurice Jones-Drew, who recently has emerged as an MVP candidate recently, scored 18 points in a revenge game against division rival Tennessee. RB2 Knowshon Moreno continued his surge since being inserted into the lineup with 17 points of his own.
Eric vs. Hank received an added-boost from the Aaron Rodgers-Greg Jennings Show, as Jennings had a team-high 24 points in a dominating effort over San Fran. He was followed closely by Sidney Rice, who finally looked healthy for the Vikes, and scored 22 points with Tavaris Jackson at quarterback.
On the losing side, Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye made it close. Ninety-eight points was the second-highest total scored in Czyk’s Revenge League Week 13, but it just so happened he was playing the highest scorer.
For Champion Dwarf Tosser, a similar situation took place when he took down the BearNaked Ladies 60-55 to secure the team a first-round bye week.
It was a low-scoring affair. Kyle Orton, Ray Rice, Mike Tolbert and Stone Cold Miles Austin were all held in check. It was Pierre Garcon and Megaton with 12 points apiece doing much of the dirty week.
The BearNaked Ladies fared no better, as Matt Cassel and Michael “The Burner’ Turner combined for 24 points and that was basically it. The RB2, WR2 and WR3 produced a mere 11 points. It is evident this was a not a playoff-caliber team.
Eric vs. Hank will take on the winner of the #3-#6 match-up in Week 15 and Champion Dwarf Tosser will face off against the #4-#5 winner.
Playoff Preview: #3 Melbot vs. #6 Ryan Gant, I hardly knew ye
Playoff fantasy football – it does not get much better than this. In Week 14, Melbot and Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye will square off with a semifinals berth on the line, and a date against top-seeded Eric vs. Hank.
Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye will look to Tommy Terrific to continue his blistering pace, which includes 17 straight touchdown passes without a touchdown. He has a difficult matchup against Da Bears, but difficult is not in Brady’s arsenal.
Other favorable matchups include Peyton “Running Down” Hillis will get to face off against the Bills, who last week allowed All Day to run all day on them for three touchdowns and 100 yards. LeGarrette Blount will travel to Washington where he will get the Albert Haynesworth-less Skins defense, who allowed both G-Men backs to wreak havoc on them the week previous.
Vernon Davis will get Alex Smith back at quarterback, which is great news for the tight end because the two have a better chemistry. Roddy White faces off against the porous Panthers secondary, while Mike Wallace gets similar treatment against Cincy.
The favorite, Melbot, will have the matchup-proof Michael Vick, of course. However, in his arsenal he has LeSean McCoy against the ‘Boys. Of the other running backs – Cedric “Not so entertaining” and two backups in Shonn Greene and Willis MacGahee – Benson is actually a safe bet for carries; too bad he is facing the Steel Curtain. Greene and MacGahee have a shot for touchdowns – nothing to depend on.
The wide receiving core, now without “Drizzy” Dez Bryant, and reportedly Austin Collie this week, Melbot will lead on Braylon Edwards, Andre “The Giant” Johnson and Johnny Knox. Edwards has historically dominated the ‘Fins secondary and The Giant is matchup-proof.
My prediction: Upset city, baby! There is an abundance of favorable matchups. A streaking Brady, an angry white running back and receivers due to break loose – it spells a win for the sixth-seeded Ryan Grant, I hardly knew ye.
Playoff Preview: #4 Elfboys vs. #5 Men without Helmets
The matchup we are all waiting – Elfboys vs. Men without Helmets. Historically, the 4-5 match-up is always the best, and we hope that stays true in the opening round of the playoffs.
The four-seeded Elfboys will look to Matt “Stump the” Schaub, who finally looked like himself last Thursday against the Eagles. Next up for him and the Texans is Baltimore on Monday Night Football. The Ravens defense always plays fired up for primetime games, but if there is a weakness it is the secondary, which the Schaub will look to exploit.
Because of injuries, the only feasible options at running back include Adrian Peterson against the dominant G-Men defense, and Brandon Jackson who cannot seem to perform week-to-week in that pass-dominant Pack offense.
In the receiving core, Dwayne Bowe will need to bounce back after a catchless Week 13 effort, when he faces off against one of the best defenses in the league in San Diego. Speedy Stevie Johnson will also look to rebound against a disappointing two weeks when he takes on the Browns. The team also gets a boost from the return of Steve Smith 2.0 for the G-Men.
The Men without Helmets will of course lean on the right arm of Drew Brees to guide them to victory, as the Saints face off against the Rams. If St. Louis can keep it close, expect Brees to make Swiss cheese of that secondary.
The running backs have all-or-nothing matchups, with Brandon Jacobs facing a tough Minnesota defense and Danny Woodhead getting Da Bears. Receiving-wise, we all are waiting for Dustin “The Wind” Keller to rediscover the end-zone. Percy Harvin will return to the field Sunday, and it would be helpful if Mike Sims-Walker did the same.
My prediction: The Elfboys take it home, easily. The 4-5 matchup will not be as close as the seeds would tell you. Brees will be the only one scoring for Men without Helmets, while the team-wide effort of The Elfboys should be able to score enough.
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