By Paul Pearson
NM Agency vs. Big O.
Scheduling worked in the Big Os’ favor this week. The Agency left a bye-week Drew Brees in the starting lineup, forsaking Kyle Orton’s 41-point dominance of the Kansas City Chiefs and allowing the Big Os to prevail by a score of 86-69. The Big Os did get 31 points from Andre Johnson in a last-second loss against the Jacksonville Jaguars, along with 19 points from Colt McCoy, who is quickly cementing his spot in the Cleveland Browns starting lineup. However, the Os also had to absorb a minus-10-point score from the Pittsburgh Steelers defense/special teams, who were victimized by Tom Brady and company Sunday night. The top starter for the Agency was Jamaal Charles, whose 25 points were more impressive when you consider that his Kansas City Chiefs fell into a deep hole early against the Denver Broncos. Jonathan Stewart simply fell into a hole; he didn’t play Sunday and left a donut on the Agency scoresheet.
Bringers of Awesome vs. Baby Needs a New Pair of Shoes II.
Dwayne Bowe lived up to the “Awesome” part of the Bringers’ name. His pair of touchdowns and 47 points led the Bringers to a 151-108 win over the Shoes. Joe Flacco contributed 30 points to the Bringers’ cause in a Thursday night loss to the Atlanta Falcons, and Maurice Jones-Drew added 28 in a last-play win over the Houston Texans. The lowlight for the Bringers was Stephen Gostkowski, who was left in the lineup despite his season-ending injury. The Shoes can’t complain about their passing game; Matt Schaub scored a team-leading 35 points, while Calvin Johnson, aided by a late touchdown, put up 30 points of his own. The running game is another story; C.J. Spiller mustered only 2 points, and Michael Turner had a disappointing 3 points.
Suckawoodz vs. Ninja Stars.
The Stars gave the term “West Coast offense” a whole new meaning this week. A pair of Rams playing an overtime game in San Francisco led the way for the Stars in a 118-97 victory over the Woodz. Steven Jackson put up a team-high 30 points, while Sam Bradford, a strong contender for Rookie of the Year, contributed 25 points. They helped the Stars overcome the donut they got from the bye-week Sebastian Janikowski, as well as the 49 points they left on the bench by not starting Matt Cassel. The Woodz put up a valiant effort. Five of its starters put up double-digit scores, including Mario Manningham with a team-high 25 points and Jermaine Gresham with 20, both in losing efforts. However, the Woodz got only 4 points from Brett Favre, who’s looking as if he would have been better off staying on his riding mower.
WiFis and Bigger GBs vs. Ann-Tics.
The Ultimate Division is the Tics’ to lose. They took an early lead thanks to Roddy White’s team-leading 39 points, and they never looked back in a 114-99 win over the GBs. Hines Ward left his game early and added nothing to the Tics’ cause, while the New York Giants defense/special teams did even worse with a minus-2-point score. But the Tics got 28 points from Knowshon Moreno in a blowout of the Kansas City Chiefs and 27 from Josh Freeman in an easy win over the Carolina Panthers. The GBs got plenty of help from Mark Sanchez, who scored 32 points in an overtime win over the Cleveland Browns. Chris Johnson added 21 points to the cause. But John Carlson, who was overlooked in Seattle’s victory over the Arizona Cardinals, could not produce a single point, and Fred Jackson’s 36-point performance was wasted on the bench.
To the victor go the spoils vs. P Funk Tribe.
Michael Vick started his Monday night game with an 88-yard touchdown pass. He ended his night with 67 (no, that’s not a typo – two thirds of a hundred) fantasy points, fueling a 128-90 victory for the Tribe. Brandon Lloyd added 27 points of his own, but otherwise, the Tribe performers came up small. Five starters were held to single digits, including the Tennessee Titans defense/special teams, who would have scored more than 1 point if CBS gave them credit for knocking two quarterbacks out of the game. The story was similar for the Spoils. Ben Roethlisberger scored 39 points on Sunday, and DeSean Jackson (the recipient of Vick’s opening bomb) got 20. No other Spoil starter got into double digits. Joel Dressen got a single point.
Scarlet Pack vs. Lovely & Talented.
The Talented continued its playoff push by getting double-digit scores from six starters in a 120-82 win over the Pack. Eli Manning led the way for the Talented with 31 points in a surprisingly loss to the Wade-Phillips-free Dallas Cowboys, followed by Frank Gore with 28. The Talented was able to shrug off two high-scoring receivers who were left on the bench: Mike Wallace (35 points) and Dez Bryant (23). The Pack generated 20 points from Danny Amendola in an overtime loss to the San Francisco 49ers, and Peyton Hillis stayed on his hot streak by scoring 19 points in another overtime loss, this one to the New York Jets. Unfortunately, the Pack could not overcome Peyton Manning’s 9 points or the minus-5-point score from the Arizona Cardinals defense/special teams.
Pussy Galore and her Abrocats vs. Scarlet Eagles.
Both starting quarterbacks (David Garrard for the Abrocats and Matt Ryan for the Eagles) scored 38 points. That’s where the similarities ended for two teams fighting for a playoff berth. The Eagles got double-digit scores from four other starters in a 122-92 victory, including 21 points from Ahmad Bradshaw and 16 from Steve Breaston. The only real Eagle misfire was starting Jason Witten, who managed to get only 1 point, over Todd Heap, who scored 15 on Thursday night. Other than Garrard, the only Abrocat starter to get out of single digits was LeSean McCoy, who scored 20 points in a Monday night romp over the Washington Redskins. The Abrocats got only 2 points from the Cleveland Browns defense/special teams.
PLAYOFF CHANCES
They’re in: Ann-Tics (9-1), Lovely & Talented (8-2)
They’re looking good: Ninja Stars (7-1-2), Scarlet Pack (6-4), Big O (6-4), Pussy Galore and her Abrocats (6-4)
They need help: Scarlet Eagles (5-5), Bringers of Awesome (5-5), P Funk Tribe (4-5-1)
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